Travelin' Soldier
by cmatty
Summary: This is set in the middle of Insurgent. It's about Tobias going off to fight in the faction war and Tris has to stay behind. Rated T just because it's Divergent.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1- Prologue

(A/N; The first bit will be from page 309 of Insurgent to page 314. It will all be in italics so you can tell the difference. Enjoy!)

**Tris pov (Obviously)**

_After dinner, I try to go back to the dormitory where I've been sleeping, but I can't quite walk through the door. Instead I walk through the corridors, brushing the stone walls with my fingers, listening to the echoes of my footsteps._

_ Without meaning to, I pass the water fountain where Peter, Drew and Al attacked me. I knew it was Al by the way he smelled-I can still call the scent of lemongrass to mind. Now I associate it not with my friend but with the powerlessness I felt as they dragged me to the chasm._

_ I walk faster, keeping my eyes wide open so it will be harder to picture the attack in my mind. I have to get away from here, far away from where my friend attacked me, where Peter stabbed Edward, where a sightless army of my friends began its march toward the Abnegation sector and all this insanity began._

_ I go straight toward the last place where I felt safe: Tobias's small apartment. The second I reach the door, I feel calmer._

_ The door is not completely closed. I nudge it open with my foot. He isn't there, but I don't leave. I sit on his bed and gather the quilt in my arms, burying my face in the fabric and taking deep breaths of it through my nose. The smell it used to have is almost gone, it's been so long since he slept on it._

_ The door opens and Tobias slips in. My arms go limp, and the quilt falls into my lap. How will I explain my presence here? I'm supposed to be angry with him._

_ He doesn't scowl, but his mouth is so tense that I know he's angry with me._

_ "Don't be an idiot," he says._

_ "An idiot?"_

_ "You were lying. You said you wouldn't go to Erudite, and you were lying, and going to Erudite would make you an idiot. So don't."_

_ I set the blanket down and get up._

_ "Don't try to make this simple," I say. "It's not. You know as well as I do that this is the right thing to do."_

_ "You choose this moment to act like the Abnegation?" His voice fills the room and makes fear prickle in my chest. His anger seems too sudden. Too strange. "All that time you spent insisting that you were too selfish for them, and now, when your life is on the line, you've got to be a hero? What's wrong with you?"_

_ "What's wrong with you? People died. They walked right off the edge of a building! And I can stop it from happening again!"_

_ "You're too important to just… die." He shakes his head. He won't even look at me-his eyes keep shifting across my face, to the wall behind me or the ceiling above me, to everything but me. I am too stunned to be angry._

_ "I'm not important. Everyone will do just fine without me." I say._

_ "Who cares about everyone? What about me?"_

_ He lowers his head into his hand, covering his eyes. His fingers are trembling._

_ Then he crosses the room in two long strides and touches his lips to mine. Their gentle pressure erases the past few months, and I am the girl who sat on the rocks next to the chasm, with river spray on her ankles, and kissed him for the first time. I am the girl who grabbed his hand in the hallway just because I wanted to._

_ I pull back, my hand on his chest to keep him away. The problem is, I am also the girl who shot Will and lied about it, and chose between Hector and Marlene, and a thousand other things besides. And I can't erase those things._

_ "You would be fine." I don't look at his. I stare at his T-shirt between my fingers and the black ink curling around his neck, but I don't look at his face. "Not at first. But you would move on, and do what you have to."_

_ He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me against him. "That's a lie," he says, before he kisses me again._

_ This is wrong. It's wrong to forget who I have become, and to let him kiss me when I know what I'm about to do._

_ But I want to. Oh, I want to._

_ I stand on my tiptoes and wrap my arms around him. I press one hand between his shoulder blades and curl the other one around the back of his neck. I can feel his breath against my palm, his body expanding and contracting, and I know he's strong, steady, unstoppable. All things I need to be, but I am not, I am not._

_ He walks backward, pulling me with him so I stumble. I stumble right out of my shoes. He sits on the edge of the bed and I stand in front of him, and we're finally eye to eye._

_ He touches my face, covering my cheeks with his hands, sliding his fingertips down my neck, fitting his fingers to the slight curve of my hips._

_ I can't stop._

_ I fit my mouth to his, and he tastes like water and smells like fresh air. I drag my hand from his neck to the small of his back, and put it under his shirt. he kisses me harder._

_ I knew he was strong: I didn't know how strong until I felt it myself, the muscles in his back tightening beneath my fingers._

_ Stop. I tell myself._

_ Suddenly it's as if we're in a hurry, his fingertips brushing my side under my shirt, my hands clutching at him, struggling closer but there is no closer. I have never longed for someone this way, or this much._

_ He pulls back just enough to look into my eyes, his eyelids lowered._

_ "Promise me," he whispers, "that you won't go. For me. Do this one thing for me."_

_ Could I do that? Could I stay here, fix things with him, let someone else die in my place? Looking up at him, I believe for a moment that I could. And then I see Will. The crease between his eyebrows. The slumped body._

_ Do this one thing for me. Tobias's dark eyes plead with me._

_ But if I don't go to Erudite, who will? Tobias? It's the kind of thing that he would do._

_ I feel the stab of pain in my chest as I lie to him. "Okay."_

_ "Promise," he says, frowning._

_ The pain becomes an ache, spreads everywhere- all mixed together, guilt and terror and longing. "I promise."_

_ When he starts to fall asleep, he keeps his arms around me fiercely, a life-preserving prison. But I wait, kept awake by the thought of bodies hitting pavement, until his grip loosens and his breathing steadies._

_ I will not let Tobias go to Erudite when it happens again, when someone else dies. I will not._

_ I slip out of his arms._ Almost immediately, Tobias shoots up from bed. As he quickly rubs the sleep from his eyes, I stand there frozen. I broke my promise, and he caught me. So many different emotions crash down around me, shame being the most prominent. The moment he spots me, he jumps from the bed and has me in his arms in less than a second, his face buried against my neck.

"You promised me Tris! You promised me!" his voice is thick and cracks on the last sentence.

It takes the small drops of water on my neck and shoulders for me to realize something; Tobias is actually crying. Because of me. Because I hurt him. He trusted me with everything-even his life-and I still hurt him, possibly more than his father ever did. Guilt pulses through me and it hurts more than the bullet in my shoulder, a deep ach in my heart where Tobias now resides. Because although I haven't said it yet, I do love him. But how can I say that if I was about to leave him? How could I bear to break the heart of the boy who now has so much control over mine?

I realease a sob that I didn't realize I was holding in. So there we stand in the middle of Tobias's apartment, neither of us trying to be strong anymore. Tobias pulls away for a second to look me in the eye.

"Please Tris," he begs, "please don't go. You're all I have left that's worth fighting for; I can't lose you." Another tear escapes those deep blue eyes that I've grown to love. _Love? Do I love him? Yes._

"Tobias," I say slowly, "I love you, and I promise that I won't try to leave again. I'm so sorry" I choke out. And by the way he looks at me, he can tell that I truly mean it this time.

**Jeanine pov (WHAT?)**

After waiting several hours for little-miss-selfless to turn herself in, I realize she isn't coming. With a heavy sigh, I buzz my assistant.

"Send young Mr. Prior into my office." I tell her. "We have to send him on the next train to Dauntless so he can collect his sister." I practically purr with a smirk playing on my lips. _This should be fun_, I think to myself.

**A/N: so here's the first chapter, it will probably be the longest one but who knows. Sorry for the majority being from the book but I wanted u guys to have context. Please review! Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2-The Visitor

**Tobias pov**

For the second time tonight, I wake to the feeling of Tris no longer in my arms. My breathing quickly changes to frantic and panicked while questions flood my mind_. Did she lie to me again and leave? Did she leave me?_ These thoughts are suddenly interrupted by a slight stirring against my back. Turning to my other side, I realize that I must have simply flipped over in my sleep because Tris is still here beside me.

"Thank God." I whisper along with a very shaky breath I didn't realize I was holding in.

Laying back down beside her, I re-loop my arms around her slender waist. This small motion is enough to-much to my dismay- wake her up.

"What time is it?" she mumbles, her voice thick from sleep.

I peak over her shoulders at the clock behind her. "Quarter to six, please just go back to sleep." I plead.

"Can I have some breakfast?" she asks through a yawn, ignoring my request.

"Of course." I say, getting up from the bed. Then I remember the events from the middle of the night, "Just don't leave, alright?" I quietly ask her.

Any remaining fatigue is instantly gone as soon as I make that simple request that now holds a deep and painful meaning. Tris gets up to kneel in front of me on the bed. I can see the tears start to form in the corners of her eyes along with the bottomless regret that also fills them.

"I really am sorry." she whispers, bowing her head in shame. Several tears leak down her cheeks before falling to the quilt beneath her.

I wrap my arms around her small frame that she's now tucked herself into. "Tris." I say to her hair. "Hey, look at me." she doesn't comply. Reaching underneath her chin, I lift her head for her to meet my gaze. "We'll talk about this later alright?"

Tris nods slightly as a few more tears roll down her cheeks which I swiftly kiss away.

"I'll be back soon" I say, giving her a quick peck and leaving my apartment.

The dark halls are eerily silent. With the events of last night though, along with the fact that it's not yet six o'clock, I can't say I'm surprised. During the short trip there, I can't help but jog most of the way because all I want is to get back to Tris as fast as possible. I stop dead in my tracks though, when the doors to the cafeteria swing open and I'm met with a figure dressed completely in blue_. There is an Erudite in the compound. They killed Marlene last night. They killed hundreds of Abnegation. They almost killed me. __They almost killed Tris._

Rage runs through my veins just at the sight of them. With their back still turned, I lunge at them, tackling them to the ground.

"How did you get in?!" I growl at the intruder. They cower beneath me, shielding their face.

"Please don't kill me." they plead. _Wait,_ I think to myself, _I know that voice._

"Caleb?" I ask, still pinning them to the ground.

He lowers his hands from his face to peek up at me. "Four?" he asks.

I immediately roll off of him and sit back on my heels. While he catches his breath-probably from the heart attack I just gave him- I just sit and stare.

"Why are you here?" I ask.

"Why did you tackle me?!" he counters.

"Erudite attacked last night. They killed a close friend of Tris and I and almost killed two little kids, sorry if we didn't welcome you with open arms." I say sarcastically. "At least I was the one that found you and not someone else. If no one knew who you were; you'd be dead right now." I tell him.

"Well thank you Four, now I feel much better about getting tackled by my sister's psycho boyfriend. And for your information, I came here to help your faction." he says with the typical Erudite arrogance. "So where is Tris?" he asks.

"Back at my apartment, I was just getting us breakfast." I tell him with a masive smirk.

"She didn't stay the night did she?" he asks, giving me a death glare.

"She did actually. You don't have a problem with that do you?" I ask him even though I know he has a _huge_ problem with his sister and I sharing a bed.

He presses his lips together so hard that they turn white and takes a deep breath before he speaks, "Not at all." he says.

_Well that was disappointing,_ I think to myself. Caleb and I get off the floor and I grab Tris and I a muffin each. Leading the way back to my apartment, I keep thinking back to his reaction. Back in Amity, he looked like he was going to tear my head off at just the thought of me kissing his sister. Now though, after learning that she spent the night with me-in bed- he just seems mildly annoyed and trying very hard to supress it. He was more than vocal with the fact he didn't like me back in Amity, and now he's being civil. What is wrong with him?

We're about half way back to my apartment when Caleb breaks the tense silence. "While I was with the Factionless and Abnegation, I got some information about Erudite. Do you think you could ask the leaders to call a meeting so I could tell them what's planned?" he asks.

"Actually Caleb, I'm now a leader so I have the power to call one myself. We're going to pass the apartment of another leader so I can talk to her about having one." I tell him.

"I'm impressed." he says with the same arrogance; like I didn't just have him pinned to the ground pleading for his life a few minutes ago.

A few minutes later I'm knocking on Tori's door. After a moment or two, she finally opens up. She spots Caleb beside me and before I have a chance to say anything, she punches him square in the jaw. Before she jumps on him, I take hold of her shoulders and hold her back. Caleb just backs up into the wall, trying to put as much distance between him and Tori as possible.

"He came here from the Factionless sector. He's with us." I tell her which calms her down considerably.

Letting go of Tori, she walks up to Caleb-who looks like he could wet himself at any moment- and extends a hand to him. He carefully takes it and shakes it twice. "Hello, I'm Tori." she says, ignoring the fact that she just punched him.

"I'm Caleb; Beatrice's brother." he introduces himself.

"What did you want Four?" she asks, turning to me.

"Can we call a meeting in an hour or so? Caleb got some information about Erudite while he was with the Factionless." I tell her.

"Alright, I'll tell Harrison to meet us in an hour. By the way, how's Tris holding up?" she asks.

I glance at Caleb who also looks interested in my answer. "She tried to leave last night." I tell them, looking down to my shoes.

Tori lets out a gasp. "I thought you told her we were going to try and fix the security here before we did anything."

"I did, I woke up last night as she was trying to leave. I convinced her to stay, but I don't know how much longer she'll stick around. Can we see if we can find her a job in the Pit or something? You know, so she can build a bit of a life here so she's more likely to stay?" I ask.

"I'll see what I can do. For now though, I think you should probably keep an eye on her. I'll see you guys in an hour at the meeting. Nice to meet you, Caleb." she says before turning and heading back into her apartment.

**Tris pov**

After Tobias left, I tried to go back to sleep, but his word just kept playing over and over in my mind. _'Just don't leave'_. The words keep echoing in my mind the whole time he's gone. When he finally returns, I can hear his voice from the other side of the door along with another. "Tris?" he calls out as he unlocks the door. "You have a visitor!"

**A/N: The end of this chapter is just so terrible but I just didn't know how to end it. I will hopefully have the next chapter of Zeke pov up in a week. As for Romeo and Juliet, I tried writing it and it was a miserable failure. I'm going to try to write it again so don't expect anything too soon for that. In the meantime, I had really liked my other ideas for fanfics so there might be some one shots or something, but I'm not making any promises. Please review and thank you to those who did. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3-Erudite's plan**

**Caleb pov**

Four swings open the door to his apartment where I will find my sister_. Great, my sister is sleeping with the crazy son of Marcus Eaton,_ I think to myself. As much as I dislike this situation I'm currently in, I must press on for the good of all those I care for. Once Four has announced to Tris that she has a visitor, I don't have time for second thoughts because I'm now completely visible from the door way. Tris sits on a large bed on top of a warm looking quilt-_thank goodness_- fully clothed. Her eyes double in size at the sight of me and for a moment, I'm worried I'll get punched again. She proves me wrong when a moment later; she jumps into my arms and tightly wrapping hers around my neck.

"Caleb! I missed you so much!" she yells_ right in my ear_. She releases me just enough so she can see me and I can breathe, "What are you doing here? I thought you were with Susan, the other Abnegation and the Factionless. Is Susan here?" she asks all at once.

"I missed you to Beatrice. I was with Susan and the others but I came here to help you guys. Four so _graciously_ had a meeting arranged for me to tell your leaders about Erudite's plan." she pulls away from me at my tone when referring to her boyfriend and goes over to him. He pulls her close to his side and the smile I had when I first saw her falls from my face.

"Why are you dressed like that?" Beatrice asks with a slight sound of disgust in her voice.

"It's all the Factionless had left over, and a whole lot of good it did me." I say, pointing to my eye that is starting to form a bruise.

"Who did that to you?" she asks.

"Tori did that the moment she saw him." Four says more to her hair than to her.

A slight smile falls onto her lips, but it doesn't meet her eyes and I can see the sadness behind them. I feel a twinge of pain just at the sight of how sad she is. She turns ever so slightly into Four who pulls her even closer.

"I got you breakfast." Four reaches over to where he set down their food and hands her a chocolate muffin.

She gives him another weak smile before taking to muffin and walking into the small kitchen on the other side of the apartment. I walk over closer to Four.

"What's wrong with Beatrice?" I ask him quietly.

"Tris was up on the roof when those three kids were about to jump off. She was the one who got the message from Erudite. There was another girl up there with Tris who was trying to get them off the ledge, but they could only save two of the three. The girl that died was a good friend of ours." he whispers as to not upset Tris by her overhearing.

"What was the message from Erudite?" I ask, feigning confusion.

"Are you sure you don't already know the answer to that?" he asks with suspicion lacing his tone.

I almost start at his question. _He knows! What am I going to do?_ I yell in my head. Before shear panic sets in, I stop myself and plaster on a look of shock and disgust.

"Do you know what you're insinuating?!" I say just loud enough so I know Tris will hear, and Four doesn't want that now does he? He doesn't react so I know I must keep going. "They _killed_ my parents and now you think I'm trying to help them kill my_ sister _and everyone she cares about?" I accuse; I'm sure Beatrice will return soon unless Four tries to make amends. Before today, I always thought that it was completely illogical and pointless when the Amity put on plays, but I now understand why; this is fun.

"Keep it down." Four says, casting a glance towards the kitchen where Tris seems utterly engrossed in washing out the mug she must have used for coffee and clamping a hand over my mouth.

I struggle against his grasp to which he releases me. "Thank you." I huff, straightening my shirt that looks like it's glowing against all this black. "So Four, what was their message?" I ask, not giving up my charade.

"They want us to send a Divergent there, most likely to runs tests and make a simulation serum they aren't aware in. That way, everyone can be mindless killing machines and everyone can live happily ever after under a sadistic tyrant. Happy now?" he spits out with sarcasm infused into every word.

"Thank you for telling me." I say simply, ignoring the harsh comment about Jeanine.

Our petty little banter is ceased by Beatrice coming up to us, hugging her arms around herself as if trying to just disappear completely. A sharp pang of guilt charges through me as I think of why Jeanine sent me, but I quickly dismiss it because I then remember that the Divergent are dangerous.

"Unless you want to get beat up again, you should probably switch your clothes for something less… blue." she says quietly, sounding broken.

Another pain shoots through me just at the pain in her voice, she may be dangerous, but that doesn't erase our shared past. Even after everything my faction has done, she is still worried about me. I almost wish she had stayed in Abnegation, she would have fit in well there, and she would be dead so I wouldn't be in this situation now. Then again, she would be _dead_. I know that if she had gone to Erudite as Jeanine had hoped, she would be dead anyway, but just being this close to her and seeing her_ this_ broken… Could I have been able to go through with it? Could I have really _killed_ my sister?

My thoughts are interrupted by a heavy sigh from Four. "C'mon, let's see what we can find you." he says with a nod towards a dresser on the other side of the room. I follow him over as he starts sifting through his drawers trying to find me something to wear. A moment or two later, he pulls out a t-shirt and pair of jeans, both in black. _It's going to be a while until I see any color,_ I think to myself.

While we are waiting for the meeting, we simply sit around the apartment and talk. Once the conversation turns to one of Beatrice's friends though, it looks as if Four has come to some sort of realization. He quickly turns to Beatrice who-much to my annoyance-sits in his lap, "Would you want Christina to come here while Caleb and I are at the meeting? It might take a few hours." he says. This is the most gentle way for him to tell her he doesn't want or trust her to be on her own.

Beatrice looks at him and it seems as if she is going to say something against his wish but clearly decides against it. "That sounds lovely. Thank you." she says almost inaudibly. "I'll go find her."

She quickly raises herself up from his lap and rushes out the door, but not before I see her swipe away a tear and force out a shaky breath. I turn to Four with my jaw dropped in shock.

"She's stronger than you think, Four." I practically spit out his name.

"I know exactly how strong she is even if she doesn't believe it herself. I almost lost her last night and I'm never going to let that happen again. I don't care what you say or what you think of our relationship, but I_ love_ Tris and I'm going to keep her safe. If I hadn't woken up last night do you know where I'd probably be right now? The bottom of the chasm because I would _die_ without her. **(A/N: I know he followed her to Erudite but remember that it was a few days before he was actually there so he most likely had time to figure out what he would do to save her. At first though he would probably think he had nothing left to live for without her.)** So please realize that I know what I'm doing and all I want is to keep her safe." he says using that cold, controlled voice that _really_ freaks me out.

Our impromptu glairing match is broken when Tris comes back into the apartment with a very pretty girl with ebony hair that just meets her jawline. Her hazel eyes glance down to where I'm seated and meet my pale green ones.

"Hello. I'm Christina." she says, reaching down to shake my hand. A jolt of electricity runs through my arm and she is practically radiating warmth. I hold onto her dark hand for much longer than is socially acceptable.

Four interrupts us a moment later, "We have to go to our meeting Caleb." he says with a slight air of superiority. I give Christina a somewhat awkward smile as I head to the door while Four pulls Beatrice into a hug, whispering something into her hair. He is about to head out the door with me when Beatrice traps him into a kiss which, sadly, he decides to deepen. Christina catches my gaze when I look away in annoyance and makes a gagging guesture. I chuckle to myself and nod in agreement. Seeing that they probably won't be stopping anytime soon, Christina goes up and unravels Beatrice from Four.

"We get it; you guys are in love. Now go to your meeting Four!" Christina orders with mock streness.

*****Page Break*****

Once the leaders have opened their meeting and Four has introduced me, everyone looks to me expectantly. But with everything I just saw with Beatrice and meeting Christina, do I really want to go through with this? I can clearly see that I now don't have a choice because if I back down, the black clothes will be rendered moot when they beat me up anyway.

"When I was with the factionless, I caught wind of the plan Erudite has to move operations to Candor. Since the majority of citizens there are already wired for simulations it will be easy to take control. Because it's much closer to Dauntless, they will be able to have easier access to attacking to compound but still have enough room for a buffer zone of sorts. A wise idea to deal with this threat would be to send in a few Dauntless to fight them directly." I lie through my teeth.

The leaders consider this for a moment.

Tori, the Dauntless who punched me, stands up to address me, "Thank you for this information. We'll consider your plan." she says with a nod.

I just stand there for a moment not entirely knowing if I should leave; I was never really dismissed. That's one thing I liked about Erudite, people were always very formal and curt so you always knew what to do.

"You can go know." Tori tells me with an are-you-really-that-stupid type of look.

Once I've found my way back to Four's apartment, I can hear faint crying on the other side of the door. With panic starting to set in, I swing open the door and am met with a scene I really didn't want to ever see.

**A/N: hey everyone, here's the third chapter. It's the longest so far, almost 2000 words. I feel accomplished. Sorry for the cliffhanger but I just had to. Any of you who are wanting the next chapter of Zeke pov, I might be able to get it up this week but I'm super busy this week and weekend so we'll see what happens. I really want this story to get a bit more established before I put up any new fan fics so if I do post Romeo and Juliet it won't be for a little while. Right now I'm just working on the plot for that and on my original story. Anyway, thanks for all your reviews and please keep it up! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4-Will**

**Christina pov **

Faint knocking on the dorm door is what pulls me from my thoughts of last night. I can't stop remembering that glazed over look in their eyes_. Is that what Will looked like when Tris shot him?_ No, that wasn't Will. That wasn't _my_ Will; the one that kissed me out of the blue for no reason, the one that could make me laugh with a simple look. That boy who killed Abnegation without a second thought wasn't _my _Will, just his shadow.

No one else is in the dorm so, reluctantly, I raise myself off my bed and go over to the door. Standing on the other side of my door is Tris. After seeing what I saw last night, I couldn't _not_ forgive her. I'm so glad I have my best friend back. When I look at her though, I can tell she was just crying.

"What's wrong?" I ask her.

"Nothing." I can tell she's lying but I'm not going to push this. "Could you come over while Four is at his meeting? He doesn't want me to be alone." she says the last part almost in a whisper.

"Of course." I say, locking my door behind me.

We walk down the hall for a short while but when we're about half-way there I stop her.

"Tris, what's going on? Why were you crying?" I ask.

She takes a deep breath, "I tried to leave for Erudite last night, Four woke up before I could leave and begged me not to go. He doesn't trust me anymore." she says all this with shame in every word while staring intently at the stone floor.

"Tris, why would you do that? Going to Erudite is a death sentence!" I pull her into a hug as I say this_. I could have lost my best friend last night and not even known she left._

"I wanted everyone to be safe." she says desperately. "If I had left everyone would have been fine."

"You can't possibly believe that's true. What about me? If you walked straight into your death I don't know what I would do! And what about Four? He loves you so much that if he loved you anymore, it would physically hurt him!" I sound as if I'm scolding her but I don't care; she could have died.

"I'm sorry Christina. I'm so sorry." she says before she starts sobbing on my shoulder.

Once we've collected ourselves, we continue down the hall to Four's apartment. Tris goes to open the door and I can't help but notice that it's eerily quiet in there. The door swings open and I'm met, not with Fours stony gaze, but with one that seems calculating yet kind with a momentary fire behind it before his gaze settles on me.

Those eyes, those green eyes; calculating but not cold, and that perfect shade of green. Just like Will's. Pain courses through me just at the thought of him. Seeing those green eyes that were so full of life look so empty just a few hours later _kills_ me inside. Now, seeing whoever this is with those same eyes kills me even more. Coming to my senses, I step closer to him.

"Hello." I force my voice to not catch, "I'm Christina."

He shakes my hand, which I wasn't aware I extended; it feels like fire is running up my arm from the contact. He holds on to my hand for longer than he probably should, but I'm not complaining. Four interrupts our little moment, much to my dismay.

"We have to go to our meeting Caleb." Four says.

Caleb flashes me a dorky and awkward yet completely sexy half smile that is so similar to the one Will always had. That thought alone makes me want to run off. Although I'm still slightly wrapped up in this complete stranger, Caleb, I do notice Four and Tris having an all-out make out session about three feet away from me. _And she says she's afraid of intimacy._ After making a gagging noise which rewards me another _gorgeous_ smile from Caleb, I take a step closer to the two love-birds. Grabbing Tris around her waist, I drag her away from her boyfriend.

"We get it; you guys are in love. Now go to your meeting _Four_!" I yell, shooing him out of his own apartment.

Once the boys have turned down the hall, I close the door and am met by a scowling Tris. "You didn't have to break us up you know. Four and I were fine just where we were." she says with a smile edging its way onto her face.

"Sorry if I didn't want to watch you and your scary boyfriend suck each other's faces off." I say, raising my hands in mock.

"He isn't that scary." she defends.

"Oh really, was he or was he not in your fear landscape? Or is it alright now that you're allowed to be together publically?" I tease.

Her cheeks flush at the memory and she bows her head in embarrassment. "Shut up." she mutters with a light slap on my arm.

"How _did_ you guys get together anyway?" I have been meaning to ask this for a while.

"The night after Al jumped he took me through his fear landscape. When we were done he took me down the chasm, told me he liked me and kissed me" she says matter-of-factly but with a soft smile at the memory.

"Wait, so the day we each went through one of Laurens fears and you slapped Four, you were already together?"

"Yeah, but imagine how you would feel if your boyfriend humiliated you in front of everyone the day after you started going out."

"Where did you run off to anyway?"

"I went to visit my brother, Caleb, in Erudite."

"Caleb's your brother?" I ask with shock clear in my voice.

"Yes he's my brother; I don't see why that's so surprising."

"And you said he's from Erudite?"

"Yeah, but it's okay; he's not working with them."

"Is he much older that you?" I can't help but try to learn as much about Caleb as possible.

"No, we transferred in the same year. Why are you so curious about my brother?" she asks, eyeing me suspiciously.

"No reason." I say quickly_. I can't bring up Will to Tris, not when it obviously still bothers her_, I think to myself, remembering last night.

"I think you should have stayed in Candor Christina because you are a terrible liar." she teases.

"It's nothing, really." I try to assure her.

"C'mon Christina, what is it?" she asks, now looking really worried.

"Okay, Caleb…ugh…he…" I stammer.

"You can tell me." Tris encourages.

"He reminds me of Will, okay?!" I nearly scream; tears making a reappearance on my cheeks.

Tris says nothing, she just sits there motionless.

"He has those same green eyes that are calculating but not cold. And that stupid half grin that Will had after he kissed me for the first time." I continue. "He's just like Will and it killed me inside just to be near him." I say hopelessly, the last part barely audible.

Dropping to my knees, I sob into my hands. A moment later, I feel Tris get down with me and wrap an arm around my shoulders.

"I'm sorry." she whispers before the door swings open.

**Caleb pov**

"Christina! What's wrong?" I ask, frantically dropping down to the weeping girl who just a few minutes ago looked so angelic.

"Please don't." she says, pulling away from me.

Those words feel worse than a slap to the face. "Tell me what's wrong." I beg.

I can barely hear her through her sobs but I can make out a faint 'You're just like him.'

Looking to Beatrice for some sort of explanation, she just gives me a look that says 'later'. She raises herself and Christina off the floor and turns to leave. Once the girls have left the apartment, I sit down on a black chair trying to piece together what just happened. Five minutes or so later, the door opens. I look up, expecting to see Tris, but am met but a very peeved looking Four.

He quickly looks around to room, "Where's Tris?" he asks.

"She took Christina home." I don't elaborate and Four thankfully lets me get away with it.

He releases a deep sigh, "I have bad news."

**A/N I'm so sorry for the cliffhanger and I'm also so sorry that it took me forever to update. Thanks for all your support. Tomorrow I'm going to try and post the new chapter for Zeke pov. This update is so late because I as busy all of last weekend and was just in a really bad place mentally for the past couple days (don't ask, it's a long sad story). Anyway, I'm still working on a few other fan fics and keep thinking up one shots (I might post one tomorrow) and I'm also working on my original story. Thanks again for your support and if anyone picks up on the DW reference they'll get a shout out.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5-No**

**Tobias pov**

"Do you think we can trust him?" Tori asked me as soon as Caleb left.

"I don't know." I say honestly. "He _was_ from Erudite but he_ is_ Tris' brother and I don't think he'd do anything to harm her."

"I think we should send them in. Lie or not, we can't risk losing more lives." Harrison interjects.

"I suppose…" Tori said quietly. "But what if this _is_ all just a lie. If we send all our troops out to Candor, we'll have less force here and be more susceptible to attacks." she points out.

"But what if we send only about fifty soldiers? We'll still have more than enough here and fifty should be enough for the job." I say matter-of-factly.

"That makes sense. But we'll need to find someone who's experienced and can lead the others. Would you be open to doing that Four?" Tori asks.

"You want me to go?" I ask sceptically. Until recently, I had lost my respect from the other Dauntless members and they want _me_ to lead an important mission?

"Yes; you're the best choice Four. Will you do it?" Harrison asks.

I want to say no. I want to say it _so_ badly. But if I don't go to Candor to fight the Erudite, they'll come here with even more force and what would happen to us then? What would happen to Tris? But on the other hand, what would happen to Tris if I_ did_ go? If I died what would happen to her then?

"Will you?" hopefulness hangs in Tori's voice.

******Page Break******

**Caleb pov**

"What's wrong?" I ask once Four has entered the apartment.

"They want me to go to Candor." he tells me. _This is exactly what Jeanine said would happen_, I think to myself.

"Really?" I ask, trying to sound shocked. "What did you say?" I ask although I know the answer already.

"I said yes." he sounds shocked even though he was the one who made the decision.

He stops short as the door opens behind him. Beatrice cautiously walks into the room looking so broken. Once more today a pang of guilt rushes through me at the thought of betraying her, but I supress it this time. _She is dangerous_, I tell myself.

Walking over to Four, he pulls her into his side tightly. She looks up at him; puzzled.

"Tori said she might give you a job at the parlor, if you're interested." he tells her.

"That sounds good. I'll go find Tori." Beatrice goes up on her toes to give him a light kiss before heading back out the door.

"Why didn't you tell her?" I ask.

"I'll tell her tomorrow. Today has been hard enough for all of us."

******The next day******

**Tris pov**

After an hour or so of practice, Tori tells me that I'm ready to give my first real tattoo. My first customer is a man who looks to be in his thirties who asks for the word 'struggle' on his inner forearm is script letters. After deducting his points, he gives me a slight smile and walks out. Waiting for my next customer, I sit at my station and play around with different designs until I hear the bell signifying that someone is here. Looking up from my page, I see Tobias looking around the parlor, most likely for me.

"Over here Four." I call out. Even though everyone knows his name now, I can tell that he still wants his actual name to just be used by the two of us in private.

"Hey." he greets. "Could we go somewhere to talk alone?" he asks.

"I'm off in a little less than an hour and I know where we can go." I say.

"I'll meet you back here later then." he says, giving me a quick kiss before heading out the door.

******One hour later******

Tobias hasn't let go of my hand since we jumped on the train and I can tell he's nervous. We jump off and head straight for the one place that holds almost as much meaning to us as the chasm; Navy Pier.

"We don't have to climb the Ferris wheel. If you want we can just sit on the Carousel." I tell him.

He just nods and leads me over to the edge of the Carousel to sit down.

"So what is it you wanted to tell me?" I ask.

"Tris, Caleb gave the other leaders and I a very important piece of information yesterday. Apparently, Erudite is going to move their main operations to Candor since they're wired for simulations and they're closer." he tells me.

"Okay… how does that affect us?" I ask, not understanding why he felt the need to tell me this in private.

"Well it doesn't exactly affect _us_, it more affects _me_." he begins. "They want me to go lead the soldiers that go to Candor." he says slowly so I'm practically hanging off every word.

"What did you say?" I ask; shocked.

"I said yes." he tells me with a cautious smile.

"But what about me?" I ask quietly, ashamed at my selfishness.

"You'll be fine; this will probably take only a few months at the most. I'll come back for you." he pulls me even closer and rests his forehead against mine while reaching up and brushing away a tear that managed to escape. "I'll_ always_ come back for you."

"I know." I swallow hard. "But what if you don't come back?" I ask hopelessly.

"I will." he insists. "I have you to come back to and to keep me going." he gives me a small smile before leaning and giving me a sweet kiss through all my tears that have now fallen.

"I love you." I chock out through a sob. This is my way of telling him he should have said _no._

**A/N: Hey guys, I'm so sorry that I'm updating this and not Zeke pov, I just have major writing block for that one. I'm going to try to have the next chapter up in a week or so. No one picked up on my Dr. Who reference****. Oh well. Anyway, thanks for all your support. Love you all, keep reviewing.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6- Goodbye**

**Tobias pov**

Three days. It's been three days since Caleb came. Since I found out I have to go on a life or death mission to Candor. Three days since Tris tried to leave because of the attack. In those three days nine more people have tried to jump off the roof and we've finally fixed up the security to stop them. And for those three days, Tris and I have confined ourselves to my apartment, spending as much time together as possible. These past three days have been the best yet most challenging of my life, and it all ends tomorrow.

As usual, I wake before Tris with her still slightly snoring in my arms. Normally, I would just try to go back to sleep, but today is our last full day together and I want to make the most of it.

"Tris." I say, my voice still think from sleep. She does nothing so I gently rub my hand over her arms to see if that can wake her.

"Hmm?" she mumbles, stirring slightly before opening her beautiful eyes_. This is the last morning I may be able to wake up to these eyes,_ I think to myself.

"Let's go get breakfast." I suggest. Tris just gives me a nod before grabbing one of my sweaters that reaches almost to her knees and heading out the door.

With Tris tethered to my left side, we grab some breakfast and head over to a table where our friends-and Caleb-are seated. After Caleb came, we found him an empty apartment just down the hall from mine and I'm surprised he actually left this morning; he usually stays in and just reads anything he can get his hands on. Once we've been seated here for about ten minutes, Zeke waves a hand in front of my face and asks if I've been paying attention.

"What?" I ask, trying to renter the conversation. Almost as soon as we sat down, Tris started tracing small circles on my knee which I found_ very_ distracting. Not that I'm complaining…

"Did you hear anything we just said?" Christina asks in her obnoxious Candor way.

"No, I was sort of…" I pause slightly, sending an annoyed look to Tris. "…distracted."

"C'mon Four, get with the program and pay attention." Tris scolds, but I can see the smirk trying to break across her face.

I playfully hit her leg under the table before turning to Zeke. "What were you talking about?" I ask.

"The goodbye party for you and everyone else going to Candor." buts in-surprise, surprise- Christina.

Tris and I simultaneously let out a deep sigh. This cause giggles to erupt from Christina which causes Tris to join in. _It's good to hear her laugh again_, I think to myself. All _I_ get is an amused look from Zeke, which I return.

Christina suddenly lets out a sharp gasp, "Tris, you _need_ to let me take you shopping for a new dress for tonight!" she exclaims, literally bouncing in her seat.

"I have a dress and I don't need a new one." Tris says with a tone similar to the one I used for initiation.

It looks like they have a silent argument using just their eyes, which Tris seems to win. Christina sighs in displeasure because she knows that Tris won't back down this time. She sits there and mutters something about having to go all by herself when Caleb pipes up.

"I'll go with you Christina." he says, sounding almost nervous. Everyone but Christina looks at him like he's crazy; which he is for actually _offering_ to go shopping with her. "I mean, it was nice of Four to lend me some clothes, but they're a tad too large for me." he pulls the loose fabric of my shirt away from himself to prove him point.

I can't believe this; Christina is actually silent. She shifts in her seat before answering him, "Thank you, that sounds nice." she says, barely louder than a whisper.

Once we've finished eating, Christina and Caleb head off to the pit to go shopping and Tris tells me that her dress from initiation is still in the dormitory, so we head there. Since there are a few people already staying there, the door in unlocked but there is no one there at the moment. As soon as we enter the room, Tris' face falls and it looks as if she might break down crying right now. She slowly makes her way over to her bunk and takes the dress out from the drawer underneath it. **(A/N I even checked the book to see where they kept their clothes, page 168 of Divergent)** Tris casts a final glance to a bunk next to hers and I can see a tear slip down her cheek; I'm by her side immediately.

"They can't hurt you now. You're safe from them." I tell her, remembering that that's where Al slept. I don't usually coddle her, but right now I can tell this is what she needs.

"They can still hurt me Tobias. What they did still left its mark and it still hurts me." she says, her voice thick with both tears and rage.

Not knowing what else to say, I give her hand a slight tug. "Come on."

Without another word, we head back to my apartment to just enjoy each other's presence until we have to leave for the party tonight.

**Caleb pov**

_Some Erudite you turned out to be,_ I think to myself. After finishing breakfast, Christina led me to the place that is called the Pit since I offered to go shopping with her. That in itself was a bad idea; I offered to go shopping with the one person I'm terrified to be around. Every time I get near her my stomach goes into knots, it's almost as if I cannot breath and it feels as if the temperature is raised by quite a significant amount. _Why does she have such an effects on me?_ I ask myself.

She silently leads me into a store with solely menswear and starts picking things off the rack. I'm actually quite grateful that she is doing this for me; growing up in Abnegation, I didn't really have the chance to learn what is and isn't socially acceptable to wear. After Christina has picked out several different articles of clothing- which all looks the same to me on account of the color- she sends me off the a changing room in the back of the store. Once I've tried on and showed her everything, I make my purchase with some points Four gave me since he assumed I would be staying for a while.

Since I have done all the shopping that I need to do, I simply follow Christina into the next store. When she is done picking out several different items, she leads me over to a bench close to the changing area and enters one of the rooms.

**Christina pov**

Great, this is just great. I'm stuck in a tiny changing room with a slightly skinnier version of Will waiting for me outside. If Tris had been willing to come with me instead of wanting to spend the afternoon with Four, I wouldn't be in this situation right now. Not that I blame her at all, it _is_ their last day together after all. If I had known that the day we did our fear landscapes was my last day with Will… I won't even let my thoughts go there; I can't go out and face Caleb with mascara streaks and puffy eyes now can I?

I slip into a short dress that comes to about mid-thigh. It's black with a dark red sash around the waist and a sweetheart neck line. Once I've checked myself in the mirror a few dozen times, I walk out to show caleb. His reaction is not what I was expecting. If anything, I expected him to seem like he could care less since he's just so… Erudite. But no; his jaw is nearly on the floor and his green eyes have almost doubled in size. Taking a deep breath, I push the memory of Will's almost identical reaction at seeing me try on dresses aside.

"Do you like it?" I ask stupidly.

Caleb tries to compose himself by pressing his lips together tightly, turning them almost white. He just gives me a small nod, "You look beautiful." he says quietly.

Screw appearances, I break down crying right then and there and rush back into the change room. Not even a second later, I can hear Caleb knocking on the door.

"Chistina? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." he sounds frantic.

"Just go Caleb. I'll see you tonight okay?" I choke out.

The next thing I hear is the quiet squeaking of Caleb's shoes against the floor. Changing back into my regular clothes, I buy the dress and go back to the dorm where I'm staying.

**Tobias pov (sorry that there are two of them)**

About an hour before the party, Christina came over and made Tris agree to have her hair and make-up done. Christina even forced Tris into a very short and very low dress. Not that _I _mind, it's the looks that she's getting from pretty much every guy in Dauntless that I have a problem with. After sending out a few hundred death glares, Tris and I have finally made our way to the middle of the dance floor.

The music pounds around us and although I'd have rather spent a quiet night with Tris back in the apartment, I'm actually glad I came. Just to see her actually looking happy since the attack makes this last night with her even better.

Over in the corner by the bar, I can see Uriah nursing what seems to be his third or fourth beer. Since Marlene's death he hasn't really been the same. Uriah, like Tris and I, has sealed himself away to his old apartment, but unlike us, Uriah has sealed himself away with his grief. I'm actually not surprised that he showed up tonight, most of the Dauntless that have lost someone have turned to alcohol and at Dauntless parties the beer is free. What I don't like though, is the way that his gaze glides over Tris over and over again.

Tris must notice my deep scowl because she nudges my arm. "What's wrong?" she shouts at me over the music.

I nod over in Uriah's direction. Tris turns to look but turns back to me looking confused. She gives me a look as if to say, _what about him?_

I shake my head and give her a look, _I'll tell you later._

Tris simply nods and gets lost once more in the music. After a few more hours, I take home a slightly tipsy Tris. She mumbles something about waking her up before I go before collapsing onto the bed. She curls up next to me and I soak in the feeling of her small frame resting beside me; a feeling I won't have for a long while after tonight.

**Tris pov (The next morning)**

Tobias wakes me up early, just like I asked him to. It feels almost too early to be waking up, considering the night we had. The music was so loud and everything reeked of alcohol. But that doesn't matter; I had to see Tobias off. Throwing on one of his big sweaters we head out the door.

Along with the fifty other Dauntless, we wait by the train tracks just holding hands, enjoying each other. Off in the distance, I hear a train whistle and realize that this is my chance, I have about two minutes. Tobias must have heard it to and is the first one to speak.

"I will write you every day, on one condition." I turn to him with a puzzles look. "Please don't fall in love with someone else." he breathes out.

I give him a weak smile as the tears start to fall; I go up on my toes and give him a sweet kiss. "Never." I promise him.

He rests his forehead against mine, "And no matter what you hear I don't want you to shut down, alright? You are so strong and you can't forget that." I simply nod in agreement, not trusting my voice to not falter.

He leans down and gives me a long, deep kiss. "I love you so much."

"I love you to." I choke out. I can feel him smile against my lips before giving me another kiss.

"I'll see you soon okay?" I give him a nod and I know that that's all we can manage to say because we would never be able to say goodbye.

**A/N Almost felt like I was going to cry when I was writing the last part. Sorry that there isn't a whole lot at the party but I didn't know what else to add. Please check out my pole, I've never tried making one so I'm not 100% sure on how it works. Now that Tobias is gone I can finally throw in some lovely drama (evil laugh). Please PM me for ideas and keep up all the reviews!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7- You're Dauntless**

**Christina pov**

Last night before the party, we were all assigned new apartments since we couldn't all be stuffed into that tiny little dorm forever. I'm still taking in my new surroundings when I hear frantic knocking on my door. Casting a glace over to my clock, I see that it's just a little after four in the morning. _Who would come knocking so early?_ I ask myself. Trudging over to the door, I open it and am met with a sobbing Tris. Without a word I let her into my apartment. Four left this morning and this is clearly why she's here. After a good half hour of Tris crying into my shoulder, her sobs quiet to just sight sniffling.

"Did I wake you up?" she asks me, clearly noticing the bags under my eyes.

"No, I couldn't sleep. Besides, you needed me right now." I say with a weak smile.

She returns it, "Why couldn't you sleep?" she asks.

"I don't know." I lie pathetically.

Tris gives me a look. "C'mon, stop lying to me. What's bothering you?"

"I think Caleb likes me." I tell her.

"Why is that a bad thing? I'm glad he's making friends." she states, clearly not understanding what I mean.

"No Tris, not like that." I start, she stares at me blankly. _Do I have to spell it out?_ "Like with you and Four…" I say, hoping that she gets it. Her mouth forms a small 'o' and I can tell that she finally understands.

"Oh… ugh… what are you going to do?" she asks me. Probably not knowing what to say.

"I don't know. I mean, he seems just so nice and for one of the first times since Will…" Tris winces slightly just at the mention of his name, "I was laughing and happy. I felt so sad for what felt like so long and to just have someone look at me like Will did and to make me laugh…" I trail off and wipe away a tear that I hadn't notice had fallen, "it felt right."

"Then go ahead. You deserve to be happy, Christina." she says, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"So you don't mind?" I ask. "He_ is_ your brother after all."

"Not at all; if my best friend is happy then so am I." she says, leaning over and giving me a hug.

"So you said your goodbyes?" I ask even though I already know the answer I know she'll want to talk about it.

She gives a solemn nod. "He said he'd write." she says sounding so hopeful.

"Well he'd better." I say, trying to lighten the mood. "Otherwise I'd have to go down to Candor and beat him up myself."

This clearly wasn't the right thing to say because she starts sobbing into her hands. You idiot! I yell at myself.

"Tris, please don't cry. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." I say, rubbing her shoulder.

"It's fine it's just… he said he'd come back but what if the only say he can come back is in a body bag?" she's all out sobbing by the last two words. I pull her into another hug, "I'm scared Chris. I don't know what I'd do without him." she says into my shoulder.

I pull away from her and make her look me in the eye. "Tris, I need you to listen to me right now. Four will be perfectly fine, do you hear me? He's smart and he definitely won't go and get himself killed. If he says he's going to come back to you, he will. That boy would give you the world if he could and he would never break a promise. And Tris, I'm sorry but come on, you are Dauntless for crying out loud, you are strong and brave and you _will_ get through this." I know I shouldn't be yelling at her but I know this is what she needs to hear.

Tris sets her jaw and wipes away any remains of her tears, looking more determined than ever. "Thanks Chris." she says with a nod.

"Now come on, let's see if they have anything for us to eat even at this ungodly hour." I joke, pulling her up off the couch and towards the door. She lets out a joking moan atr having to stand up, but follows me to the cafeteria.

Tris and I just hang around the Cafeteria since no one else is there and just talk about stupid things. While we're ther, I find out that Four made her promise to not fall in love with someone else. I found it kind of strange that he'd make her promise that since she would NEVER look at another guy. Either way, it's nice to have my friend back, I think to myself. We've been there for about an hour or so when the doors swing open and I see something that both shocks me and makes my blood boil.

**A/N: Hahaha I gave you guys a lovely little cliffhanger to deal with. I'm sorry that this chapter is so ridiculously short. And I'm also sorry that it took so long. Another thing, my writers block for Zeke pov is so bad, I want to throw in some random drama but have no idea what to put. Anyway please keep reviewing. Since I'm new to the site, I don't really know how PM works plus I want to get to know you guys a bit better. I also am having really bad writers block all across the board so any ideas you have will be welcome plus I might give you sneak peeks. Please check out my poll, it's about who you ship besides Fourtris and if I do any other fan fics I want to know who likes what. Oh, and **katraj0908**, I made this chapter EXACTLY 1000 words just for you so the last three numbers would stay 999. Enjoy!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Caleb pov**

**Chapter 8-Diana**

_So this is what a hangover feels like_, I think to myself as I rise from my bed. As quickly as I can in my condition, I get dressed in the black that is-Surprisingly-starting to grow on me. I start to make my way to the cafeteria when a tall, thin girl with crimson hair jumps out of nowhere and interlocks our arms. Before I have a chance to speak, she starts talking about a mile a minute.

"Hey, Carter, right? Do you remember me from last night? I had a rally great time and you are such a good listener. I woke up this morning and just thought I should come thank you. With everything going on and my boyfriend getting drunk on me last night it was just nice to have someone to talk to, you know? Are you headed to breakfast?"

"Umm, it's Caleb actually and yes." I say, not quite certain I caught everything she just said.

With this girl-whatever her name is-still hanging off my arm, we head to the cafeteria. Since it's so early, it seems as if no one is there. Then I spot Beatrice and Christina, who looks as if at any moment she might relieve someone of their head. The red-headed girl starts to drag me over to where the food is when I stop her half way.

"Look, I'm very sorry, but I don't think I know you. I don't even know your name." I tell her, trying to look apologetic.

"It's Diana, from last night? You don't remember me?" she sounds almost as if she might cry. I simply shake my head. "Oh, well, I'm sorry. I guess I thought it was you who I met last night. My boyfriend is on the mission to Candor and after he broke up with me last night he got super drunk and ran off with some girl. I really am sorry, it's just I met this guy and he seemed so sweet and you look just like him." she wiped away a lone tear that streaked down her face.

"Please don't cry, umm, why don't we have breakfast anyway?" I suggest, felling very awkward in this situation. "My sister and her best friend are right over there so why don't you come eat with us?"

Diana gives me a genuine smile before continuing on our way over to the food counter, grabbing a muffin and we then make our way over to Beatrice and Christina. _What is Christina going to think of all this? _I inwardly groan.

"Who's you friend Caleb?" Beatrice asks when we sit down to a slightly awkward silence.

"I'm Diana." she says, answering for me.

"I think we met last night at the party." I give as an explanation, not wanting to embarrass Diana. She sends me a grateful smile from her place beside me.

"Oh, that's nice. Did you have anyone you know go on the mission to Candor?" Beatrice asks, trying to make polite conversation.

"My boyfriend- sorry ex-boyfriend- left this morning." she tells us. Out of the corner of my eye it looks almost as if Christina might break her food tray in half.

"I'm sorry to hear that." my sister says sympathetically.

"Don't be; he was a jerk. Besides, you're Tris Prior right?" Beatrice simply nods. "We all know that Four was heading up that mission and from our_ lovely_ time in Candor we all know that this must be extremely hard on you. You guys seemed _so_ in love." Diana swoons slightly.

Beatrice laughs lightly and Christina's homicidal look changes to one that only looks furious.

"He'll come back." Tris says more to herself that to us.

******Page Break******

On our way out of the Cafeteria, Beatrice and Christina walk a few paces ahead of us until Diana stop us at a hallway junction.

"Thank you Caleb, for this morning." she leans in and quickly kisses my cheek. "But honestly, go talk to her." she says quietly, nodding her head in Christina's direction.

"What?" I ask, extremely confused.

"For someone who seems so smart you are an idiot. That girl, Christina, was glaring at me the whole time and every time she looked at you she looked so hurt. Just make life easier on both of you guys and go talk to her." she says, pushing me in the girls' direction before turning down a hallway.

I jog slightly to catch up to the girls who are now quite close to Beatrice's door. Slowing my pace to get into step with Christina, I can see her start slightly at my sudden presence. When we arrive at my sister's formerly shared apartment, she goes inside with a final glance at Christina.

**Christina pov**

_Talk to him_, Tris' look tells me before she closes the door.

"I'll walk you to your door." Caleb offers.

I give him a nod. "So why are you walking me to my door instead of your girlfriend?" I ask bluntly. _Curse my stupid inner Candor!_ I yell at myself.

Caleb winces at my question, making me feel even worse. "I don't even know who she was. She jumped out of a hallway, thanking me for what someone else did for her last night at the party. When I told her that that guy wasn't me, she looked like she was going to cry. I felt so terrible I had her have breakfast with us." he quietly explains.

"I'm sorry, I just…" _just what Christina?_ I ask myself. _I was just jealous?!_ "I shouldn't have asked; what you do isn't my business." I say, trying not to choke on my words.

Caleb gives a solemn nod and we keep walking to my apartment in complete silence. By the time we get to my door, I'm trying so hard to keep away all my tears and Caleb looks no better. Why is this so hard?!

"I'm sorry." Caleb says quietly.

"Don't be." I tell him as a tear escapes and rolls down my cheek.

He still won't look at me so I reach up to shift his gaze from the floor to me. He looks shocked by my actions so I decide I might as well take another risk. I go up slightly on my toes and lean in kissing him lightly. "You have absolutely nothing to apologize for, you're perfect." I say once I've pulled away.

Caleb's eyes flutter open and look like they've doubled in size. His mouth parts as if to say something but it seems as if he thinks better of it because he leans in and kisses me. And as we stand there in front of my door, all I can think about is how that for the first time since Will, _everything_ is perfect even in this imperfect world.

**A/N sorry for the crappy short chapter but I have like no time. Review or pm. Check out my poll. I love all of my beautiful readers and please keep reading.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9-The first letter**

**Tobias pov**

I hate being back in Candor. Having Christina around I can deal with; she's Tris' best friend. But being surrounded by Candor smart mouths all day is practically torture. At least this time we're here as soldiers and not refugees. That means that we don't have to deal with the Candor government, just Dauntless.

It's close to midnight, so I start to make my way to the edge of Candor. All of us that are here take different patrol shifts on the perimeter so that whenever Erudite decides to grace us with their presence, we'll be ready. I still doubt what Caleb told us. I don't know what it is about him, I just don't trust him. On my way there, someone falls into step beside me.

"Are you sure about this Four?" asks a voice beside me. I turn slightly and see Martin, an initiate from last year's initiation; I was the transfers' trainer that year as well.

I think about this for a moment before deciding to answer him honestly; "No." I say simply.

"Then why are we here?" he asks.

"As a precaution." I say, not really believing it myself.

We're both silent for the rest of the walk there and once he reach the perimeter, we go our separate ways so we can cover more ground. Once again alone with just my thoughts, they turn back to Tris. The whole time we've been in Candor I haven't been able to stop thinking about her. I still haven't written her so since it doesn't look like much is going to happen, I pull out a pen and paper from my jacket and start writing…

_Dear Tris,_

_ You don't know how much I wish I weren't here right now. These stupid Candor smart mouths are driving me crazy; always asking about me and my past, like I didn't spill my guts out to them not even a week ago. I can't believe that it hasn't been longer, it feels like forever ago that we were here last. Not that it was a pleasant time, but we were together. I miss you so much Tris. I keep wondering what you're doing and who you're with, just little things. I can't stop worrying about you; you're just so far away. And I know what you're thinking, 'I can take care of myself, Tobias.', and trust me, I know you can. When I get so worried about you, I just remind myself of how strong you are and I know that you're alright._

_ How's tattooing going? I still never got a tattoo from you so I guess I'll just have to wait until I get back. I'm thinking of getting two certain numbers added together on the inside of my wrist. You should draw up a design while I'm away. There are a lot of people here that are wanting to get tattoo's. It's weird really, almost like an addiction. When we all get back you're probably going to be so busy at the shop._

_ Please pass on a hello to everyone there; let them know that I'm alright and no one has attacked. Yet. Write me back soon and tell me how life is there without me. And remember Tris, I love you. So much._

_-Tobias _

By the time I'm done writing, it's almost time for my shift to end. So I pace around the perimeter and when I'm finally about to leave, I see something I was definitely not expecting.

**Tris pov (Two days later. Tobias wrote the letter three days after he got there.)**

It's been five days. It's only been five days since Tobias left and I've done nothing but fall apart. As I drag myself out of bed, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Gaunt cheeks, hollow red eyes and an expression of pain etched across my face. If it weren't for my job at the tattoo parlor, I wouldn't even bother getting out of bed. If I don't get up and head to work though, Tori will just come barging in and drag me to the parlor no matter what I'm wearing. I don't what to have to do that again.

Christina and Caleb have practically fallen off the face of the earth. I've only seen them once since the day Caleb showed up to breakfast with that girl. They were together, walking around hand in hand. I'm happy for them, it's just that every happy couple I see makes me think of Tobias. I cringe just at the thought of him being in danger and the tears start to fall. I wipe them away before pulling on a pair of jeans and one of Tobias' t-shirts. If Christina were here, she wouldn't let me wear this. But she isn't, she never is.

I trudge to the tattoo parlor, not even bothering to get anything to eat. I've barely eaten for the past five days, I've been too worried about Tobias to feel like eating anything. After setting up my station, the bell on the door rings. Tori already has a customer so I look up to call the person over. I look up and see Uriah. Ever since Marlene, he's practically fallen off the face of the earth to. I understand why though. He comes and takes a seat beside me. I look to him expectantly and he simply hands me a photo of a needle and points to his upper arm. I immediately get to work. By the time I'm finished, it's also the end of my shift for the day. I start to clean up my station but Uriah hangs around.

"Do you want to go grab some lunch?" he asks shyly.

"No thanks." I say politly.

"C'mon Tris, please, it'll take twenty minutes." he pleads.

"Fine." I concede. What's twenty minutes out of my one person pity party?

He gives me a small smile before leading me out the door. We find an empty table and sit down to eat. During our meal, Uriah doesn't stop talking. But it's not like with Christina where I just tune her out. Uriah keeps trying to pull me into conversation but doesn't make me give anything more than one word answers, which is just fine with me. After we eat, yes, I actually ate something, he takes me back to my door. The whole time we were together, Uriah was just so nice and actually made me laugh. He is such a great friend. When we reach my door, I turn and give Uriah a hug and a small smile before entering the apartment. About ten minutes after Uriah left, there is a knock on the door. I open up to a small boy who looks about ten years old. The boy hands me_ two_ letters which I rip open. My eyes fall to the bottom of the page of one of the letters and I see the one name I can't stop thinking. _Tobias._

**A/N here's the new chapter. I probably won't post for a little while cause exams are soon and I don't want to fail miserably. Anyway, pm or review because I need feedback and have writer's block for Zeke pov. Thanks for reading! –DW46**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10- War Zone**

**Tris pov**

At the sight of his name, I break into a huge grin. Discarding the other letter, I flop down on the bed and start to read… **(A/N Tobias' letter is in italics like before and Tris' thoughts are just normal)**

_Dear Tris,_

_ You don't know how much I wish I weren't here right now. These stupid Candor smart mouths are driving me crazy; always asking about me and my past, like I didn't spill my guts out to them not even a week ago. _Has it really only been a week since we were last there? It feels like a life time since we were there; me having to relive my memories of Will and Tobias having to dwell on his past and why he left. _I can't believe that it hasn't been longer, it feels like forever ago that we were here last. Not that it was a pleasant time, but we were together. _I cringe at the memory of us yelling at each other by the elevators. I can't stop remembering that look in his eyes when Tobias found out about what I did. Tears threaten to fall when I think of the night he told me to stop being reckless or we were done, and then just a few night later I almost ran off to Erudite on a suicide mission. _',but at least we were together._' I read again, and now he's just so far away._ I miss you so much Tris. _I'm bawling now; he doesn't realize that I miss him just as much._ I keep wondering what you're doing and who you're with, just little things. I can't stop worrying about you; you're just so far away._ I was just thinking the same thing, but I can take care of myself._ And I know what you're thinking, 'I can take care of myself, Tobias.', and trust me, I know you can. When I get so worried about you, I just remind myself of how strong you are and I know that you're alright. _That one comment on how strong he thinks I am sends me over the edge. I've nearly ripped the page to shreds by holding it so tight; like I'm actually holding on the real Tobias.

_ How's tattooing going? I still never got a tattoo from you so I guess I'll just have to wait until I get back. I'm thinking of getting two certain numbers added together on the inside of my wrist. You should draw up a design while I'm away. _'4+6', that's what he wants, I make a mental note to draw up a design like he asked and send it along with my letter._ There are a lot of people here that want to get tattoos. It's weird really, almost like an addiction. When we all get back you're probably going to be so busy at the shop. _We could use the business.

_ Please pass on a hello to everyone there; let them know that I'm alright and no one has attacked. Yet. _That one small word sends shivers down my spine; Erudite may not have attacked, but they will soon. _Write me back soon and tell me how life is there without me. _Life without you is impossible. _And remember Tris, I love you. So much._ I love you too.

_-Tobias _

I can barely read his signature because my eyes are too full of tears. In his entire letter he kept talking about how strong he thinks I am, not once did he tell me to keep holding on. He believes in me, even more that I believe in myself. He trusts me to be strong and what have I done? I've stopped eating, barely slept and confined myself to my apartment. This isn't strong. This is weak and pathetic and cowardly; this isn't what Tobias believes I'm capable of. He believes that I'm strong and can handle anything; and right now I need to be, for him.

I wipe my eyes and take a deep breath before grabbing a pen and page from the small desk in the corner…

_Dear Tobias,_

_I feel so bad for you having to be back there. For me, Christina is all the Candor I need around. I haven't seen very much of her recently though, or Caleb for that matter. I saw them a few days ago, walking around the compound hand in hand. I'm so happy to see Christina find love again, even if it is in my brother. It's still slightly strange to see my brother here, and dating Christina of all people._

_Tattooing has been going well, we aren't getting a lot of business but yesterday I gave Uriah a tattoo of a needle. I'm not quite sure why he got it, but Tori had explained to me on my first day that anything sharp of dangerous can symbolize pain. I can see that losing Marlene has taken the greatest toll on him that on anyone else._

_I can't believe that it's only been a few days since I last saw you; it feels like it's been so much longer. It seems like it's been years since I last talked to you in person, I can't wait for this to all be over and we can be together again. Life here without you is impossible. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but I need to tell you this. You think I'm this strong person who can handle everything and anything, but I'm not. For these past days that you've been gone, I've been nothing but weak. You make me feel so strong and without you here, I've crumbled. I've barely eaten, hardly slept and I've only left the apartment for work. You don't know how ashamed I am, I let you down when you believed in me; and for that I am so sorry. But then I read your letter, you believe in me so much and I promise that I won't let you down again. I love you more than anything; please remember that. And please remember that I'm going to try harder for you._

_-Tris _

By the time I'm done writing, I'm in tears. Deep down I feel as if I shouldn't have told him, but I remember what happened with Will and I don't want to keep anything more from Tobias. As quickly as possible, I sketch up a design like Tobias wanted and slip it into the envelope. I'm just about to go out to drop off my letter when I spot the other envelop that came with Tobias' letter. I open it up to see a short, typed message that makes me almost break apart.

'WAR BY ERUDITE HAS BEEN DECLARED ON THE OTHER FOUR FACTIONS'

**A/N I didn't think I'd write a chapter this soon but my brother mowed the lawn so the computer was free. Now I will probably not get time to update until exams are done so bye for now. Please keep reviewing and reading, and if you have any suggestions please pm me.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter**** 11-Have ****Faith**

**Uriah pov**

I'm almost at my apartment when I hear an ear splitting scream.

It sounds like Tris.

Breaking into a sprint, I try to get to her door as fast as possible. For what seems like forever, I run through halls of Dauntless._ What could have happened in the few minutes since I left?_ I ask myself. The screaming hasn't stopped by the time I've gotten to her door so I throw it open and find her sobbing an screaming on the floor with a piece of paper clutched in her hands. She's holding it so tightly that she's nearly ripped it apart.

Dropping to my knees, I envelop her in a hug and try to calm her down. Even in all the chaos, I can't help but notice how good it feels to have her in my arms. _Snap out of it Uriah!_ I silently yell at myself.

"Shh, Tris, calm down. Tell me what's wrong." I say, rocking her back and forth. She's stopped screaming but her body is still shaking with sobs.

In response, she just thrusts the page towards me because her lips are shaking too much to tell me. I can't help but wonder what it would be like to press mine to hers and just kiss away all her pain. I shake away the thought because Tris needs _actual help_ right now.

If any of those thoughts towards Tris were still lingering, they're gone now. Looking down at the page in my hands, I read; 'WAR BY ERUDITE HAS BEEN DECLARED ON THE OTHER FOUR FACTIONS'

Oh God.

Four.

Here Tris is, worrying about her boyfriend _dying_ and I'm here wanting to take her for myself. Shame overwhelms me and I just hug her tighter. What she need right now is a friend and I _will_ be there for her as a support, not a stress.

"It'll be alright Tris. Four's smart; he'll be okay." I say.

She looks up from where she's crying into my shirt. "How can you know Uri? What if something happens?" She asks as another tear rolls down and stains her face.

I wipe it away with the pad of my thumb and let my hand rest on her cheek, "You just have to have faith in him, alright?"

**Tobias pov (Two days earlier, after he wrote the letter to Tris)**

Standing up from where I sat down to write, I come face to face with James; a friend of mine from my initiation. In the original attack though, he betrayed us and went to Erudite. My hand flies to my gun.

"Don't come any closer." I say, pulling out my gun.

"Four, I've been spying on the Erudite, I'm not really with them. I'm here to warn you." he says urgently.

"They're running the simulation? Are they coming?" I ask, casting an urgent glance towards the compound.

"Yes, they're going to start running it tomorrow at midnight. They plan to tire out the soldiers until you're weak enough and then they'll attack." he tells me as fast as possible.

"We need to go warn the others." I say, starting to jog towards the compound.

It's now after one in the morning, so the only ones that are awake are the ones patrolling the halls and in the control room. We tell them to start preparing themselves for the simulation tomorrow night. James and I go around the compound to do a gun check. If some Candor are under the simulation, the last thing we want is for them to have weapons. When we first arrived, we told them to hand over anything they had but, you can never be too careful.

"Oh and Four," he calls out as I'm headed to my dorm. "there's going to be a friend of mine coming in a few days with more information. Try not to kill him."

**A/N I have major writers block so this is more of a crappy filler chapter. It doesn't make a ton of sense so I'm really sorry. I've been working on a new fic and that will come out in a few days. It's about a certain character that I personally think has been slightly ignored. Anyway, thanks for reading and please pm or review.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12- The announcement**

**Tris pov**

_Why did I get this message? Do the leaders already know?_

Just as I'm about to voice these questions to Uriah, a voice crackles over the intercom system, "_Attention everyone, we received a letter this morning from the soldiers in Candor. War has been declared by the Erudite on the rest of us. According to a soldier who recently was a spy in Erudite, they plan to use a simulation on the Candor until the soldiers are weak enough and then attack. We are trying to shut down their computer system remotely as it is a suicide mission to go to Erudite and do it manually. Some of you may have received a letter with this same message if you have loved ones there, please note that it was just protocol for you to receive this. After the paintball game in the pit at the end of the week, we will have a faction meeting with an update on the war. That is all. "_The intercom switches off and even through the thick walls you can hear the collective cry of the Dauntless.

"I still can't believe this is really happening." I say vacantly.

"It's okay Tris, at least we know what's going on now. And you heard them; they're trying to shut down Erudite for good." Uri says, trying to sound comforting.

Instead of starting a pointless argument about how it might not work, I simply nod. "Uri, thanks for everything you've done today but, it's been a long day. I think I might just want to go to bed."

"No problem, I'll see you tomorrow okay? Let's have lunch again." He suggests.

"That sounds nice." I tell him, leading him over to the door.

Before I close the door, he gives me another hug. He pulls away slightly but still has his arms around my waist. For a moment, it feels like how Tobias held me before he left. Uriah's eyes stay on mine until they flit down to my lips then back up to meet my gaze. He looks like he's hesitating before he says, "I'll see you tomorrow.", and walks down the hall. _What just happened?_ I wonder. Shaking my head to clear away the thought, I go back into the apartment to lie on the bed and never really find sleep.  
******Page Break******

Rising from the bed, I throw on a pair of my jeans and another one of Tobias' shirts. This has become my usual outfit for when I have to go anywhere. Before I head out the door, I grab the letter I wrote yesterday.

As I'm on my way to get breakfast, everyone I see just gives me a slight nod of acknowledgment, knowing I won't feel like talking. I'm both grateful yet annoyed that everyone knows how they should act with me, as if I'm so fragile I could break. Outside the cafeteria is a small box for the mail that will be sent to Candor. I carefully drop in the envelope with 'Four' written neatly on it. Mixed emotions course through me; I'm ashamed of the content of the letter but I'm also glad I'm not keeping this from him. With a deep sigh, I clear my head and walk into the cafeteria. Walking over, I grab a muffin and start to look for an empty table.

"Tris! Tris, over here!" I hear shouted from across the room.

I turn to see the source of the voice and spot Christina and Caleb sitting at an empty table and waving me over. As I make my way over, I can't help but think that this could either be fine or horribly awkward. The moment I sit down, Christina takes my hand from across the table.

"How are you doing?" She asks softly, as if she spoke to loud I'd break.

"I'm fine." I say, not bothering to hide that I'm lying. After I say this, I give her a look, challenging her to argue with me.

"Bea, I'm so sorry." Caleb says, setting his hand over mine and Christina's.

Of all things, this is what I snap at, "My name is Tris! Not Beatrice or Bea or whatever the hell else you want to call me; it's Tris!" I nearly scream before storming out of the cafeteria and to the tattoo parlor.

"Tris! You're here early." Tori says, sounding surprised.

"Yeah, I thought I'd sketch some designs for a while." I say, trying to come up with a better excuse than 'I yelled at my brother and needed to leave.'

She eyes me skeptically before nodding and turning back to whatever she was doing. I'm not disturbed for the rest of my shift. None of the tattoos I had to do today were very noteworthy, just the usual; faction symbols, flames, a gun or two; nothing major. Once my shift is over, I slip out the door and run right into Uriah.

"Hey, ready to go?" he asks.

I hesitate for a moment, _do I really want to go home and have a one person pity party?_

"Yeah, let's go." I reply after a moment of deciding.

Uri gives me a shy smile and starts to lead me down the hall. Every so often, Uriah would reach up to crack his knuckles and glance over at me nervously. When we finally got to the cafeteria, I saw Christina and Caleb there for lunch. They give me a worried look and wave me over but, I just turn and bring Uriah over to an empty table.

"What happened with your brother and Chris?" He asks, clearly having seen the silent exchange.

"Since they made the announcement last night, everyone's looking at me like I'm a kicked puppy or something." I say, remembering Tobias' words. "I hate it; it makes me feel so weak." I conclude, turning to look down in shame.

"Hey," Uriah says, patting my arm. "Look at me." I comply and meet his gaze. "You know that you're strong; I know that you're strong. Nothing else should matter and if other people are making you look or feel weak, you shouldn't care. They're not worth your time or tears." He says, finishing with a shy smile.

"Uriah, that's so sweet. I'm so glad to have you as a friend; I don't know what I'd do without you." I say, placing my hand over his.

Uriah gives me a slightly conflicted look before flashing me another shy smile and turning back to his food.

******Page Break******

"Thanks for taking me to lunch again." I say to Uriah as I'm about to close the door to the apartment.

"It's no trouble at all. How about we do it again tomorrow?" He asks, sounding very hopeful.

"That's a great idea." I say with a smile breaking across my face.

I pull Uri into a hug, "Thank you or everything." I say as I pull away slightly.

Uriah looks conflicted for a moment but before I can ask what's wrong, his lips crash into mine.

**A/N here's the newest chapter. What will Tris do?! I guess you'll just have to wait. Sorry it took forever to update, this month for me has been crazy busy but next month ill have more time. Today I'm headed to a wedding so right now I should be getting ready but am updating instead. I've also started on Wattpad thanks to Fanofdivergent. I'll tell you guys what my name is on there when I actually start publishing. Thanks for the support, read and review, sorry the chapter is short, I love all of you. **

**-DW46**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **_**READ THIS BEFORE THE CHAPTER!**_** Okay, this chapter is going to be pure drama because right now I'm just genuinely ticked off at life and if you care at all about my well-being and want to know what inspired this chapter then the explanation is at the bottom… I don't usually open up about my personal life so here's your chance to learn more about me.**

**Chapter 13-What the heck**

**Tris pov**

Today has sucked for me so far. First, I have to deal with all the fake sympathy from everyone I see in the halls because Tobias is away in Candor and war has broken out. Second, _Tobias is away to war and could literally die at any moment_; which has made me depressed and extremely stressed. Then, I have to deal with my best friend and brother practically shoving their love and happiness down my throat while putting on a fake air of sympathy so they don't hurt my already battered heart. And finally, I'm in my current situation… Uriah, a sweet guy who I thought was just trying to be nice to me in a terrible situation, is trying to stick his tongue down my throat. _What the heck?!_ Without a second's hesitation, I tear myself away from him and slap him as hard as I can.

"I have a boyfriend Uriah!" I scream.

His hand flies to the hand print I left on his caramel cheek. "Tris I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do that; I got caught up in the moment." he defends. It looks almost like a light bulb goes off, "And it's not like you weren't leading me on ever since Four left." he says. His tone has changed to one colder than I've ever heard him use and it's _extremely_ accusatory.

"You were the one initiating everything and I was just being nice. It hasn't been very long since you lost Mar and I didn't want to make you feel worse. How can you even think I'd leave T-Four?" I lower my voice and sober at just the thought of us not being together.

"He's the one who left you Tris; he could die at any moment and then where would you be? Heart broken and alone. Have you never even thought about the fact that you're sort of young to make that commitment to someone?" he asks.

"We're the same age Uriah!" I scream this before taking a few deep breaths.

Five more seconds. Five more seconds of anger and then I'm going to calm down and get on with life. _One,_ Tobias is still alive and he'll come back to me. _Two,_ Uriah said he didn't mean it and I won't let it happen again. _Three,_ Uriah _will not_ kiss me again. _Four, _Tobias and I will be together again and I won't let anything get between us. _Five._

"I'm not talking about this right now Uriah." I say in a monotone. Before he has a chance to respond, I sidestep him and start to make my way down the hallway. I can't go back to the apartment like this, I need time to cool down. And I need to apologize to Christina about this morning. Sighing deeply I turn down another hallway. _I guess I better get this over with_, I think to myself.

******Page Break******

Reaching out timidly, I knock three times on Christina's door. Inside, I hear some shuffling before Chris opens the door. Her dark hair is tangled and her lipstick is smeared. I wonder why she's such a mess…

"Oh, hi Tris." she says, looking both nervous and hopeful.

"Hi Christina, can I come in; I need to talk to you?" I ask.

Christina bits her lip before casting a nervous look inside the apartment. "Sure, come on in." she says after she turns back to me.

When I come into the apartment, I see Caleb sitting on Christina's bed with even more messed up hair, an un-tucked dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a bit of lipstick smeared across his face. _Ohh…_

"Hi Tris." Caleb says, offering me an awkward wave.

I send Christina a look that clearly asks, _can he leave?_

Christina must get the message. "I'll see you tomorrow, Caleb." she says.

Caleb looks up at Christina almost pleadingly. _Go,_ she mouths in response. He stiffly gets off her bed and she sees him to the door.

"Come back in two hours." I hear whispered before the door shuts and Christina comes back to sit beside me.

"Okay, I don't even want to ask what I just interrupted." Christina laughs slightly at the awkwardness. "Anyway, I just wanted to come by and apologize for this morning. I shouldn't have snapped like that and I definitely shouldn't have gone off with Uriah and ignored you later on." I shiver slightly at the thought of the argument I just had with Uriah. "I'm really sorry."

"It's fine but, what happened with Uriah?" she asks. I give her a _'how did you know'_ look. "Candor." she replies with a shrug.

"He thought I was leading him on and I thought he was just being nice. He kissed me after dinner so I slapped him, we argued and then I came here." I explain, not wanting to go into detail.

"Oh my goodness! Are you okay?" she asks, grabbing my arm.

I simply nod even though we both know it's a lie. "But then he started talking about if Four died in the war and how I'm too young for a commitment like that. He deserved that slap." I say with a humorless laugh.

"It's alright Tris, Four will be fine." she says, rubbing my arm slightly.

"But what if he isn't Chris? He could die out there. He could be dying right now for all I know. Four said he'd come back to me Chris but, what if he comes back in a body bag?" I cry, burying my head in my hands. We've had this conversation before but, I need to know what would happen.

"We'd help you through it. But let's not talk about sad stuff. Caleb told me that you're becoming quite the tattoo artist. He said he might even get a tattoo, after our plans tonight obviously." Christina says, changing the subject completely.

"What? I'm here, worried that my boyfriend could be _dead_ and you want to talk about tattoos and your boyfriend, who just happens to be my older brother, by the way. And on that subject, don't you think that it's a little weird for me to be talking with my best friend about her and _my older brother's_ love life?" I get up from where we were seated on her bed. "Thanks for giving a crap about my life." I say, storming out of her apartment.

_Great job at apologizing_, I silently scold myself once I'm finally back in the safety of the apartment. At least tomorrow can't get any worse. _Right?_

**A/N: Okay, here's what's happening in my life to make me so mad, **

**I was going to update 'Love has brought me here' tonight but, my brother deleted the draft I had saved.**

**My best friend is graduating and her grad party is this weekend. With all the planning, she's been really demanding and mean lately.**

**That same friend is head over heels for this guy I grew up with and he's like my brother. They both like each other but can't be together because he's fifteen, she's eighteen and neither of their parents think they're old enough to date. On the other hand, there's this guy that I've been pathetically in love with for years now and I've just learned that he isn't who I thought he was so, I'm sort of heartbroken right now. And does my friend care enough to talk with me about it? NO. She doesn't want to talk about sad stuff and will only talk about how cute the guy she likes is being with her.**

**So, as you all can tell, I'm mad at life and sorry for raging but, I needed to get it chapter suck but, I was going to do this stuff anyway so, might as well do the drama when I'm already angry. I'll update 'Love has brought me here' asap once I have a new draft written. My name on Wattpad is cmatty and I have one story up so far that's realistic fiction. Thanks for reading, please review or pm and please check out my Wattpad.**

**-DW46 (cmatty)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14-Aftermath**

**Caleb pov**

Walking back through the dim halls, I think back to the choosing ceremony. When I first chose Erudite, never did I think that just a few short months later I would be walking through the halls of _Dauntless_ to _my_ apartment. But that was before Jeanine black mailed me into all of this. And before I met her.

Once I get back to my apartment, I throw my jacket on my dresser and suddenly hear a series of high pitched beeps. Shuffling through everything on my small desk in the corner, I finally find the com screen **(A/N: it looks like a tablet)** that Jeanine gave me before I left. I accept her call and then an image of Jeanine flicks into the screen.

"Caleb," Jeanine greets with a curt nod.

"Ms. Matthews," I reply with the same nod.

"Now, how is your mission going? Are you making any progress?" she asks, getting straight to the point.

"Well, as you know, Four has gone to Candor. He and Beatrice write letters regularly. Beatrice rarely leaves the apartment and is isolating herself from everyone. Even me," I report.

"How is her mental state? Is she at a point where she is likely to leave Dauntless and come to Erudite?" Jeanine asks more specifically.

"Not yet, it has already been announced about the attacks are trying to be shut down remotely but, she needs more motivation. I suggest you send a message similar to the first one. With Four gone, no one will be able to stop her from leaving," I tell her, guilt starting to set in.

"Very good young master Prior. If you complete, this then I may consider releasing her," she says, taunting me.

"Can I see her? Please," I beg.

"I suppose," she sighs, rolling her eyes as if she weren't talking about a living breathing girl and her well-being.

Jeanine then shows me footage from the security camera of a small blond girl sitting in her cell. Her hair hangs in clumps around her gaunt features and she simply sits there with her knees tucked under her chin and her thin arms wrapped around them. She doesn't move until food comes in and even then she eats slowly, savoring every bite she gets. Tris is endangering my chances of freeing Naomi and if betraying her is what I need to do then so be it.

I need to save Naomi.

No matter what.

I'm about to inquire further about Naomi and how she's doing when I hear knocking on my door.

"Caleb?," a voice calls out.

"I have to go Jeanine. I'll keep you updated," I hang up before she has a chance to say anything else.

Stashing the com in a desk drawer, I then go and answer my door. The moment I open my door, someone throws them self into my arms and is sobbing loudly. It takes me a moment to figure out that it's Christina. Forgetting every part of my previous conversation with Jeanine, i turn my attention to my girlfriend and my arms wrap around her waist immediately.

"What's wrong?," I ask once her sobs have quieted slightly.

"I'm terrible. I was just talking to Tris and then she started crying about Four being away and I was trying to cheer her up and she just snapped at me," she cried out. "I'm a terrible friend," she says, pressing her forehead to my shoulder and starts to sob again.

"She's hurting, Christina. Think about how you would feel in her position, her boyfriend is away to war and she could lose him, of course she's upset. You're not terrible," I conclude, kissing the top of her head which is still buried into my shoulder.

"You're right," she mumbles into my arm. "You're so sweet," Christina says, quickly pressing her lips to mine.

"I know," I say with a smirk breaking across my face.

A smile tugs at the corners of Christina's mouth. "You're so full of yourself," she says, trying to hide her grin.

My lips crash into hers and I kiss her long and hard, pulling back only to breath. "But you love it," I tease.

"Yeah," she concedes, drawing me in for another kiss.

**Tobias pov**

"Mail's here boys," calls out James. He has a large burlap sack heaved over his shoulder and I'm hoping there's a letter in there for me from Tris.

When he's finally worked his way around to me, he tosses me an envelope with my nickname scrawled across it. Realizing that it's Tris' writing, I go back to the dorm I'm in and rip open the envelope… **(A/N: once again, the actual letter is in italics and Tobias' thoughts are in regular font)**

_Dear Tobias,_

_I feel so bad for you having to be back there. For me, Christina is all the Candor I need around. __If only I were so fortunate.__ I haven't seen very much of her recently though, or Caleb for that matter. I saw them a few days ago, walking around the compound hand in hand. I'm so happy to see Christina find love again, even if it is in my brother. It's still slightly strange to see my brother here, and dating Christina of all people__. How did I miss out on that small detail?_

_Tattooing has been going well, we aren't getting a lot of business but yesterday I gave Uriah a tattoo of a needle. I'm not quite sure why he got it, but Tori had explained to me on my first day that anything sharp of dangerous can symbolize pain. I can see that losing Marlene has taken the greatest toll on him that on anyone else._

_I can't believe that it's only been a few days since I last saw you; it feels like it's been so much longer. __I know exactly what she means; I feel exactly the same way.__ It seems like it's been years since I last talked to you in person, I can't wait for this to all be over and we can be together again. Life here without you is impossible. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but I need to tell you this. __Oh no, what happened?__ You think I'm this strong person who can handle everything and anything, but I'm not. For these past days that you've been gone, I've been nothing but weak. You make me feel so strong and without you here, I've crumbled. I've barely eaten, hardly slept and I've only left the apartment for work. You don't know how ashamed I am, I let you down when you believed in me; and for that I am so sorry. But then I read your letter, you believe in me so much and I promise that I won't let you down again. I love you more than anything; please remember that. And please remember that I'm going to try harder for you._

_-Tris_

_Even when my father beat me, never did I feel pain like this. I'm not ashamed of her; we're all weak at times and with everything that has happened, I shouldn't be surprised that she broke down. It doesn't take away the sting though. More than anything, I'm mad at myself for not seeing what this would do to her. I never should have taken this position if it meant any harm to Tris. But, what's done is done and I can only hope that she will get better. Digging out a page, I start to write to Tris, letting her know that everything will be fine…_

_Dear Tris,_

_I want to remind you of the night I left; do you remember what I told you? I told you not to forget about how strong you are. I know that you're still strong even if you don't. Everyone makes mistakes and hits rough patches and you're no different. You are human and you'll mess up at times but, you'll get through it. _

_I want you to know that I'm not mad at you or ashamed. I will never be ashamed of you because you are the strongest, bravest person I know. In my eyes, you will never be weak or broken; just human. Please keep your word and don't let my being away effect you. I'm going to come back to you alive and well and this will be nothing but a memory._

_I believe in you, Tris. Always._

_Love, Tobias_

I've just written the last word of my letter when someone bursts into the dorm. It's James along with a tall, well-built man who looks to be about in his thirties.

"Four, this is Ben," James introduces. "He was the other spy in Erudite and he has some interesting information about their master plan. And it has something to do with that girlfriend of yours."

**A/N Sorry for not updating in forever. After this chapter, you probably have lots of questions. Most of you are probably wondering who on earth Naomi is. Well, I guess you'll just have to wait for the next chapter. Sorry for Tobias' letter being so OOC and short but, what do you write in response to that?! Anyway, I had really bad writers block for this chapter but I worked through it and got it done. The next chapter will take a while to write and it will have pretty much all the answers. Have fun waiting!**

**-DW46 (cmatty on Wattpad, please check out my story there and tell me what you think.)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15-Answers**

**Tobias pov**

"What is it? What's their plan?," I ask frantically.

"I don't know every detail but I will tell you what I do know. Jeanine wants total control. She won't stop until everyone is either under her control via serum or dead. This is where your girl comes in, Jeanine for some reason wants Tris specifically and won't stop until Tris is in Erudite to be tested on. That night on the roof, Jeanine made sure that the three that were up there would have some sort of emotional connection with Tris. Marlene and Hector were up there because they were friends of hers. The little girl-Rose-was up there because she is small, innocent and would cause Tris to feel sympathy. It was all planned so that Tris would be up there with them and receive the message directly. That way, her selfless tendencies would kick in and she would go to Erudite. When she didn't, Jeanine turned to plan B. She sent someone from Erudite who was close to Tris so they could convince her to go-," he says but I cut him off.

"Caleb! I knew he was trouble from the minute he walked in," I yell, hitting the bed post in anger.

"And that's not even the worst part," he continues. "Jeanine new that you would stop her at all costs so that's why she devised all this," he waves around his hand, implying us being here in Candor. "She knew that the great and powerful Four would be sent here and Tris would be on her own. It's going to be announced soon back in Dauntless that as soon as a divergent delivers them self that the attacks on Candor will stop. With you in possible danger and Tris seeing a way to protect you, she'll go to Erudite to be tested on and killed. Once Jeanine has made a serum that can even best Tris, she'll give it to everyone and be in complete control of the city," he tells us.

"But she won't fall for it, no one here is really in danger; we've learned how to handle the simulations," I argue.

"That was just the first part, she's going to start sending troops in a day or so," he says, sounding grave. "But don't worry, I have a plan."

**Caleb pov**

Christina has just gone off to her job in the infirmary so I take this chance to call Jeanine back. It takes a minute or so but she finally appears on the screen.

"Caleb. To what do I owe this pleasure?" she asks with a tight lipped smile.

"I want to talk to her," I state.

"Oh? To whom are you referring, Caleb?"

She's playing with my mind; trying to make me snap. Every time I talk to this shrew of a woman she's testing me. It's like my mind is simply a machine; she's trying to find the right button to push so she can set me off. I can't let her get in my head any more than she already has.

"You know perfectly well, Jeanine. My half-sister; I want to talk to Naomi," I growl.

"I don't think I can do that Caleb. You see, you still haven't held up your end of the deal," she says with a condescending smirk.

"Tris will be there in no more than a week. We both know the schedule and you know when she'll be there. Also, you never said anything about me simply talking to my sister," I point out.

Jeanine lets out a heavy sigh. "I suppose. Five minutes, that's all you get."

There's a bit of shuffling with the com as Jeanine gets up, walks down a few hall ways and finally arrives at my sister's cell. The com gets passed through the bars of her cell and I'm suddenly face to face with my sister.

She has the same green eyes like mine and high cheek bones that my-our-mother had. Naomi may be small like Tris but, you can see the years in her face. She has seen a lot in the world outside the fence in all her twenty years that she's been there; you can tell just by looking at her.

"Caleb, it's so good to see you," she says with a grin.

"I could say the same for you. How are you doing?" I ask.

"As good as someone can when they're in prison for no reason," she says, sending a pointed look to someone off screen; most likely Jeanine.

"I'll get you out of there soon okay? In less than a week, Tris will be in Erudite and you will be released," I tell her with a sad smile.

"Are you sure you're doing the right thing Caleb. I mean, this is our baby sister and we're just sending her to her death. That's just not right, no matter how much I don't want to be here," she points out, her voice catching slightly.

"You know better than any of us what's outside the fence and if we ever want to leave the city then we need you. I love Tris-she's family, of course I do-but, we need you more. You are the logical choice," I reason, whispering the part about us leaving the city.

"I won't agree with you, Caleb, but I won't stop you either," she says.

I'm about to say something when the com must have been taken away from Naomi. Once again I'm faced by Jeanine.

"Deliver your sister within a week and I will release Naomi," she says before hanging up.

Lying back, I start to think of my sister, half-sister, and of how we got into this mess.

_***Flashback***_

Heading back to the initiates dorm room, I hear a shuffling on the other side of the door leading to a computer lab. It is after the allotted hours of work, therefore no one should be there. Quickly, I decide that I should check and see who is in the room. Pushing open the door, I reveal a slight Factionless woman. She must be the janitor, I conclude. But this woman is on one of the computers and is intently searching the screen.

"Who are you and what are you doing?" I demand.

Her head snaps in my direction and it seems almost as if I were facing a younger version of my mother. She gets up from the chair and takes a step towards me. The woman couldn't any older than her early twenties and I can't help but recognize that she looks very much like me. Her eyes grow wide and I assume that she has also recognized the similarity.

"Are you related to Natalie Hollis?" she asks suddenly. "Prior, I mean," she corrects.

"She's my mother," I say, not knowing why I should answer her.

"Good," she says, more to herself than to me.

"Why is that good? Who are you?" I ask.

"My name is Naomi. I'm your sister and I'm here to help you, Caleb."

_***End of flashback***_

In the weeks that followed, I learned that while our mother was an initiate in Abnegation, she fell in love with a man from the outside world. He had snuck in on an Amity truck and joined the Factionless. For months he was spying on us, trying to learn more about our society. Apparently, in a town close to our city, they are taught all about us and how we will be released one day to help bring peace. Her father came to find out about our progress but, that when he met my mother.

She had been going around and helping the Factionless when she met him. They fell in love and a year later, our mother fell pregnant with Naomi. No one really noticed under the baggy Abnegation clothing that our mother was with child so no one ever found out. After our mother had Naomi, she sent her off with her father and into the world. They kept in touch through letters and that's how Naomi knows all about us.

She was going to be sent back here so she could bring us outside the fence but, Jeanine learned of her existence and came up with a plan. Jeanine wanted control and knew I would help with the proper motivation. When Naomi is released though, were going to leave and escape Jeanine and the factions.

Now I just have to deliver Tris and then our plan can unfold.

**A/N ok, sorry that this chapter is so boring and all explanation. If any of you have any questions then pm me and I'll explain. You can't ask what Four's going to do though, it's a surprise. Also, I don't want to be like one of those authors who say 'I need X amount of reviews and I'll post a chapter' but, a few reviews would be nice. I only got one for my last chapter which was slightly disappointing. Anyway, check me out on Wattpad, thanks for reading, reviewing, following and favoriting. **

**-DW46 (cmatty)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16-Paintball**

**Tris pov**

Ever since the announcement, I've anxiously been waiting for this day. Tonight, we'll all head to the pit and get an update on the war. That means we'll get a list of the dead. I'll find out if Tobias is dead.

A few days ago, they announced that the troops in Erudite had shown up at Candor last night. We still don't know how many have died and they're only going to get an actual number right before the faction meeting. Until then, anyone with loved ones off to war will be anxiously awaiting a letter. Sometime this morning, one of our troops that are in Candor will come deliver all our letter. They should be here in only a half hour or so.

Crawling out of the bed that feels so much colder without Tobias, I throw on some clothes and even put on some make up before heading out the door. I grab a muffin on my way to the mail room and run into Caleb.

"Hi," he says, looking guilty. He probably still feels bad about the day I snapped at him.

"Caleb, I'm sorry about yelling at you the other day; I was just really stressed," I tell him.

When he doesn't respond, I give my brother a slightly awkward hug.

"Let's just forget it ever happened, okay? You're family and we're in the same faction now so we shouldn't have anything wrong between us," I say.

Caleb mumbles something I don't catch before walking away. _I wonder what's wrong with him... _Pushing aside the thought, I continue on my way.

Opening up the door, I see something that I definitely wasn't expecting.

"What are you doing here?!"

Within seconds, I'm across the room and in Tobias' strong arms. Tears start to leak down my face and soak into his thick army jacket. His last name is stitched into the back of the collar but I can barely see it through my tears. Sobs shake through my body and we just stand there holding each other.

Finally he answers my question from before, "I begged them to let me deliver the mail so I could come see you," he tells me.

"I'm can't believe you really here," I croak out.

Tobias kisses away the tears before fitting his mouth to mine. I have no idea if anyone else comes in here for their letters or not, all I know is that Tobias is alive and he's here with me. When we break for air, he leans his forehead against mine.

"Well I'm here; it's really me," he whispers.

"How long can you stay?" I ask, fearing the answer.

"Not long, the fighting hasn't stopped and I need to get back there," my heart drops as he tells me this. "I have a letter for you though, I wrote you this but, I don't want you to read it until tonight."

Immediately I nod in agreement as he hands me the letter, although it's a very odd request. _Why can't he just tell me now? _I push away the thought and kiss him again. This kiss is full of everything in our letters and everything I wish I could talk to him about now. But mostly love. Tobias is the first to break away.

"I have to catch a train," he groans.

"I'll walk you there," I offer.

He takes my hand in his and although the years have made his hands rough, it feels like it's where mine belong. People look at us disapprovingly as we walk through the halls; like they know about us and are allowed to judge. All too soon, we get to the train tracks.

We can already see the train in the distance so we don't have much time. Tobias pulls me into him and kisses me with fire and passion and love. He breaks away, breathless.

"I love you, forever and always," he says before giving me another quick kiss and running off to catch the train.

Even once the train is long gone, I stand there by the tracks holding Tobias' letter. Tuning back to face the compound, I can see someone standing in the doorway. Uriah. He has a sloppy smile on his face and looks more like he needs the doorframe so he won't fall over. _Is he drunk? _I get a bit closer and the strong smell of alcohol confirms it.

"So lover boy is gone again?" he sneers.

"Shut up, Uriah," I snap.

It's as if he didn't even hear me. "You know, even if the war didn't happen, he would be long gone after three months of being with you," he slurs. "You know why? Because you don't love him, you don't love anyone," he jerks his finger in my direction, trying to prove his point but, just makes himself almost fall over.

I just want to get back to the apartment but, Uriah's in my way.

"Get out of my way Uriah," I fume. What he's saying is starting to get to me even if he's drunk and none of its true.

"He would _leave_ you, Trissy. Don't you ge-," I cut him off by punching him right in the jaw.

That did it, he finally got on my last nerve and it wasn't really his fault. He was drunk and didn't know what he was saying but I still punched him. Uriah is down for the count and I just side step him so I can run back to the apartment.

******Page Break******

We've all just been called to the Pit for the paintball game. It's been split up men against women and you can go anywhere in the pit. Immediately, I sprint into a small shop for cover. With everyone running around and adrenalin pumping, it reminds me once again why I chose Dauntless. To be free. The way that the Dauntless can still be so care free and wild even in the worst of situations amazes me. The time is up and our team of women have clearly won. All the men on the opposite team are covered in pink paint whereas the women just have a few splatters of blue. It bring back memories of capture the flag and Tobias and I on the Ferris wheel.

When everything is said and done, we all surround a small stage where Tori stands with a microphone.

"Hello everyone, you're probably all anxiously awaiting news on the war so I'll get right to it. We have been sent a message from Jeanine and it's as follows. 'The attack on Candor and the other factions will end when a Divergent delivers them self to Erudite for testing.' Now no one is to go to Erudite and give in to Jeanine's demands. If anyone gives in, then she wins! That tyrant gets_ exactly_ what she want and we will be under her control! That cannot happen under any circumstances-," Tori's screaming is cut off by a light tap on the shoulder from Harrison.

I can see him quietly tell her to calm down. He takes her microphone and addresses us.

"We have just learned that fifteen of our troops have been killed by the Erudite. We only had fifty people sent to Candor so now we only have thirty-five Dauntless left along with all the Candor that are fighting with them. No candor have died. All the Dauntless that have died are;" Harrison pauses before reading off the list and although I saw Tobias earlier, I silently pray that he's not on that list...

_Aaron Davis_

_Ashton Ward_

_Brooklyn Gage_

_Carmen Besse _

_Chris Fallon_

_Devon Bates_

_Emily Sharp_

_Graeme Phillips_

_Isaiah Wilson_

_Mark Hollis_

_Nora Stevens _

_Oliver Ryan _

_Tobias Eaton..."_

My heart stops and I hear a collective gasp in the pit. More than half the people in the room turn to me in shock.

He's dead.

Tobias is dead.

Not twelve hours ago, I was in his arms when he came to deliver the letters and now he's gone. Just like that the one guy I'm sure I'm in love with is dead. Stumbling back, I need to hold myself against a cold stone wall just to stay upright. I don't even hear the rest of the names of those who have died and I'm sprinting back to the apartment.

By the time I'm back at the apartment, I can barely get the door open. I wipe my eyes and finally open the door. I close the door behind me and slide down to the floor. And for the second time today, I let out sob after ugly sob. But this time, Tobias isn't here to hold me.

_And he never will be again._

**A/N: I'm honestly not too pleased with this chapter but, tell me what you think. Thank you all for the reviews and please know that ****this isn't the end****. And please don't hate me too much. *hides under table to avoid getting stabbed with butter knives***


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17-His last letter  
Tris pov**

**(Just a warning, things might get too intense for some people so read with caution)**

_Empty_. That's the only way to describe how I feel right now. How can one name on one list do this to me? Because that wasn't just a name on a list. That was the announcement that Tobias-_my Tobias_-is dead. His name floats around in my mind along with everything else about him; the depths of his eyes, the ways his arms felt when he held me. It's hard to believe that just a few hours ago he held me like that when he gave me his letter. _Wait! I never read his letter. _Bolting from the floor, I haphazardly throw everything from the small desk in the corner, frantically looking for his letter. Finally, I find a small envelope with my name printed on the front.

When the envelope in in shreds at my feet and I'm about to read his letter, there's a soft knock on the door. I mentally debate not answering but decide to do it anyway. Tori stands there with a thick jacket in her arms. _It's an army jacket. _

"Is that..." I start, not even able to finish my question.

Tori gives me a nod. "They got this off the body, his face was pretty bashed up but the jacket was identification enough. I thought you should have it," she says, her voice cracking. "I'm sorry Tris, I'm so sorry."

Tori pulls me into a hug and the tears start all over again. "We all loved Four. And even if he felt like he didn't belong here, we did. He was Dauntless through and through," she smiles slightly and I can see the tears pooling in her eyes. "Even if he was a Stiff," Tori starts to chuckle at her words but they turn into sobs.

I hug her for another moment before pulling away. She's composed herself slightly and hands me the jacket.

"Thank you, Tori. This means a lot to me," I choke out.

"It's no trouble but, now I have a faction to lead so I'll talk to you later," she says.

"Bye Tori," I say, closing the door.

I walk back over to the bed and sit down with Tobias' letter and jacket in my lap. Taking a deep breath, I start to read...

_Dear Tris,_

_You are the only thing in my twisted, screwed up life that has ever gone right. Even when we were fighting, I would think of you and feel like everything would be okay; because I had you. That's why it's so hard to even think about you and writing this just makes it so much harder. I want you to know that I love you. I know it sounds completely insane but, I would never let you go because I love you that much. Even if you can't hear my voice again, I don't want you to forget I'll always be there for you and that I love you. My only wish is that that I could take you away from all this. We would run for our lives and never stop just so we could stay together and not have to deal with the hell that surrounds us. The thought of not being able to see you again makes it so hard to not break down and cry. Yes, the all-powerful Four is going to cry over a girl. But you're not just any girl, Tris. You have this spark in your eyes that gives only a glimpse of how strong and brave you are and no one else will ever have that. I will miss you terribly but, we'll never really be apart because I'll always be right beside you. Please Tris, please stay safe for me. If it's the last thing I do, it's to make sure you stay safe; I could never stand loosing you and I just want you to be okay. I really need to wrap up this long letter so I'll simply say I love you and goodbye. _

_-Tobias_

Tear after tear falls and smears the ink. How could he do this? Didn't he know that if _I_ lost _him_ that I'd _never_ be okay? He was practically my world and now he's gone. Dropping the letter, I take a closer look at the jacket. I trace over the name 'Eaton' with my finger tips and think about when I saw it earlier.

Sobs over take me once more just at the memory from this morning. Has it really only been a few hours since Tobias last held me, and I cried into this jacket for a completely different reason? It feels like it's been forever. Time goes by so slowly without him, and now that he's gone, what am I going to do? I don't know how long I lay there but, I do know that I eventually drift off, because I am suddenly in a nightmare.

******Page break******

It's dark. Scratch that, its pitch black and I can't see a thing. Then, out of nowhere, I can see a man sprawled at my feet. But it's not just any man, it's Tobias. He's wearing that same thick army jacket with his name stitched into the collar. Dropping to me knees, I try to wake him.

"Tobias, it's me, Tris," I say.

He just moans in response. He's hurt. I roll him into his back and see how damaged he really is. Scratches cover his face and he has a black eye. Worst of all though, he has a deep gash in his stomach and I can see the blood leaking through the fingers he has clamped over top.

"Tris," he whispers.

"I'm right here," I say.

The light suddenly fades from his eyes and the next thing I know, he's dead in my arms.

******Page Break******

Jolting away, I wipe the tears from my cheeks. Some used to say that sleep can be a way to escape the horrible reality. But for me, I have to relive Tobias' death over and over again. _That_ is no escape.

Lying back down with Tobias jacket held tightly to my chest, I look over to the small kitchen. Every so often, the tap will drip and it makes me think of how thirsty I am. All that crying has made my throat feel like sand paper. Shrugging on the jacket, I trudge over to the kitchen. I start to look through the cupboards for a glass but find a small box of hot chocolate mix instead. Right now, that sounds really good so I grab a packet of mix, a mug and put the kettle on to boil.

I start to rifle through the drawer with the cutlery when a sharp pain shoots through my hand but quickly dissipates. Pulling my hand from the drawer, I see a small slice on the side of my finger. Slowly, I reach back into the drawer and retrieve the long knife. Looking down at the knife in my hand, I feel almost mesmerized. I barely register that I've reached out my other hand and run my finger across the blade. It only hurts for a moment and then it just feels numb. If it weren't for the drops on crimson falling from my hand, I wouldn't have known I had cut myself. I'm about to move it farther along my hand when the kettle goes off.

The high pitched squeal of the kettle is enough to snap me out of what I'm doing. How can I do this after everything? Especially after Tobias letter. He would be _ashamed_ of me. Tobias said that he just wanted me to be okay yet here I am. A sob wracks through my chest. I take the kettle off the stove and just leave it. I can't deal with anything else right now. Not wanting things to get any worse than they are now, I just go lay back down, surrounded by Tobias' jacket. The only piece of him I have left.

**Tobias pov (earlier when he delivered the letter)**

"I love you, always and forever," I say, meaning every word. I quickly kiss Tris again before running off towards the train.

Even once I've jumped onto the train, I look back at Tris until I can't see her anymore. It's so hard to think of what's about to happen without wanting to jump right off this train and running back to Tris. If I could spare her this, I would in a heartbeat. But for everyone, the future, _our_ future, I need to do this.

When I'm finally back in Candor, I run through the plan one more time with Ben. Later today, ten of us-myself included-will get on the train and we will go scout out the other factions for erudite activity. Somehow, Erudite managed to figure out at what times we did this and who went. Then we learned from Ben that Erudite planted a bomb on a train car and set it to go off while we were scouting the factions. Many would suggest that we remove the bomb of just not get on the train at that time. Instead, we decided to repeat what someone did in an ancient war. Ben referred to it as 'Coventry' and what we are going to do is act as if we don't know and let Erudite think that they've succeeded. This is the second and most key part of the plan.

When everything has been worked out, I get on the train with the other nine. Everything is going fine and they still don't know what's about to happen. They still don't know that they're all about to die. All we see is the orange glow of the explosion near the front of the train before all hell breaks loose. The train car is thrown off its tracks and we're all tossed around like rag dolls. I on the other hand, was given everything possible so that there is no way I would escape with anything more than a few scrapes or bruises.

The car rolls to a halt and everyone around me is covered in debris. I finally find someone who looks similar enough and switch jackets with him. His face is barely recognizable and I feel like a monster for letting something like this happen. But I then think of what things will be like if I don't go through with this and press on. Everything is finally in place and I take off for Erudite. Let's just hope Tris reads my letter and decides to listen to me for once.

**A/N: I wasn't going to post this until I had posted another chapter of Love has brought me here but, I couldn't leave you all like that. Plus, I have writers block for that one. So now you know that Tobias is ok. Tris doesn't though which will cause stuff to happen. Big thanks for all the support and 'lovely' reviews. Oh my goodness, there was legit someone who played out how they would try kill me, fail and then kill themselves. And then there were all the death threats, I mean, really? I could never kill Tobias. He's just too darn amazing! Please keep up all the reviews though and a big thank you to everyone who actually reads this and anyone who reviews. Also, that part with Tris in the kitchen isn't going to be the end of that so, if you're uncomfortable with it, you may want to read with caution for the next few chapters. This is rated T for a reason. And on a slightly different note, I'm going to change my pen name to 'cmatty' pretty soon and this is just a heads up so no one gets confused.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18-Tattoo**

**Tris pov**

When you're told about love, it's nothing but happiness, bliss, hugs and kisses. Reality though, is a cruel thing. Because no one mentions about loss and what it does to you. They never tell you how it tears you to pieces and makes you do anything to take away the pain. The pain that will _never_ heal. Love and loss leave deeper scars then any fight ever would. It drains every part of you as a person. It gnaws away at every part of you until it _kills_ you inside and there's nothing left.

That's the part of love that no one warned me about.

And that's the part I'm experiencing now.

Wrapped up in Tobias's army jacket, I can't help but try to bury myself deeper and deeper into the last piece of Tobias that I have left. It even still has a bit of that smell that is-_was_-just so him. It smells like home. It smells like the home that I can never get back.

There aren't any boundaries in what I would do to get Tobias back. Just to see him again or hear his voice, I would do anything. I glance over at the clock and see that my shift in the tattoo parlor starts in twenty minutes or so. Reluctantly, I get up from the bed but keep on Tobias's jacket. I'm not about to let that last piece of him slip away to. I'm about to trudge out the door when I catch a quick glimpse of myself in the mirror. My greasy hair is in a loose ponytail and I have huge bags under my eyes. It looks like I haven't slept in days but, I guess crying will do that to you. Without another look, I leave the apartment.

I dot even bother stopping for breakfast; I have somewhere more important to be. Resting my shaking hands on the railing, I close my eyes and just listen to the chasing waters of the chasm. Memories flood my mind. This is where I almost died but, Tobias saved me. This is where Al ended his life, and later that day Tobias held me. This is where Tobias brought me after he showed me his fears. This is where Tobias kissed me for the first time. And this is where I kissed him back.

Pulling myself closer to the railing, I hang over the edge and look down. _'A daredevil jump off this ledge will end your life,'_ I think, mentally repeating Tobias' words back when he was just 'Four'. It's hard to think that not that long ago he meant nothing to me. If he had died back then it wouldn't have affected me. But now, I die inside every time I think about how I'll never see him again.

Tears start to sting my eyes and I know it's time to leave. Dwelling on the past and crying about it won't bring Tobias back. No matter how badly I wish it would. With that, I make my way to the tattoo parlor. Tobias got me this job to keep me occupied and out of trouble, I should comply with one of his last wishes.

Once I'm at the tattoo parlor, I quietly make my way over to my station, get out my notebook and start to sketch. My mind though, keeps wandering back to the last time Tobias was here with me. That was the day he told me he was leaving. If only he hadn't agreed to go; he would still be alive and I would go home to him tonight and not the empty apartment.

Too lost in my own thoughts, I don't even notice when Tori walks up until I feel a light tap on my shoulder.

"Sorry Tori, did you want something?" I ask, shaking my head to clear it.

"No, I was just wondering how you're holding up," she says, giving me a small smile.

_I want to slap her. How can she even ask me that?! Oh yeah, after hearing that my boyfriend died at the hands of a psychopathic tyrant I haven't eaten, barely slept, haven't taken off his jacket, cut myself and done nothing but bawl my eyes out in his old apartment but, otherwise I'm great. No. Not even close. I have felt dead inside ever since they made that announcement and that will probably never change. _

"I'm fine," I lie, hunching back over my notebook.

"Tris,"Tori lies a hand on my shoulder until I look back up at her, "it's okay if you're hurting. You can tell me."

Tears spring to my eyes and it takes all I have to not break into sobs here and now.

"I just… I can't… I don't want to talk about it right now," I choke out.

"Look Tris, I know this won't help much but, sometimes when someone loses someone close to them, they get a tattoo. It helps them to always keep them with them, but also to move on. I'm not saying to forget about Four but, you do need to be able to move forward with your life," Tori explains.

"Do you think I could take you up on that now? The tattoo, I mean," I say.

"Of course, it's pretty quiet here anyway. What would you want to get?" Tori asks, sitting up a little straighter.

"Another raven," I say. "Right here."

I point to the spot where the other three are flying to.

The spot where Tobias will never really leave.

My heart.

******Page Break******

"Thanks Tori," I say, looking at my newest tattoo in the mirror.

"No problem and I just wanted to tell you. If you are okay with it, I want you to take the next few weeks off. I want to give you a chance to get your life back in order without having to deal with any added pressure of a job," she says with a sympathetic smile.

As much as I hate to be coddled, having a few weeks to just sort everything out seems like a good idea.

"That sounds good Tori, thank you so much for everything," I say with a real _genuine_ smile.

**Tobias pov**

As soon as I escaped the explosion, I ran straight to where Ben, James and I had agreed on. While there, we did everything we could to perfect out plan. Once all the last minute changed had been made, I was ready to sneak into Erudite and keep my identity secret. Now all I need to do is get close enough to Jeanine to find out her plan and shut her down. All I can think about though, is how Tris is going to react when she gets the announcement. Will she stay strong like I begged her to, or will she break like I know_ I_ would?

**A/N That was just plain sad to write. It took a bunch of sad fandom related pics and a depressing playlist to write this for you so, enjoy. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19-Funeral  
Tori pov**

Quickly I stride through the hallways and run through what I'm going to say. _Why do I always have to deliver this kind of news? Why couldn't I get Harrison to do this? _Finally, I'm at the door that I've gotten sick of visiting with bad news and lightly knock on the door. A minute or so later she still hasn't come so I knock again. And again.

Fed up with waiting, I pound on her door and call out, "Tris, it's Tori. Open the door."

A few seconds later, I hear the door being unlatched and it opens only an inch or so. Her greasy hair is shoved behind her ears and she's still wearing Four's army jacket. I don't think she's taken it off since I gave it to her. Anyone can see that they really loved each other and now that he's gone Tris has just been so broken. I'm just hoping that this won't be the straw that breaks the camels back.

"I thought I had some time off," she says softly.

"Oh you do," I reassure her. "I just thought you should know that there's going to be a funeral service today for everyone that was announced and everyone that has died since then. There's going to be an update on the death toll and were going to try and find more volunteers to go to Candor. Since Four was a leader we're going to ask if you could say a few words on his behalf," I tell her.

She bites her bottom lip but, doesn't say anything.

"Tris, if it's too much to ask then you don't have to do it. No one would think less of you if it's too hard," I say sympathetically.

She looks back up to meet my gaze and I can see new determination in her eyes.

"I'm Dauntless, I can do anything," she says confidently.

We share a look because we both know that that's only partially true.

"I'll see you in the pit in an hour," I say taking a few steps back.

Before she closes the door, I stop her.

"Oh, and you might want to clean up a little first," I point to her hair.

"I'll see you later, Tori," she says, with a ghost of a smile, closing the door.

Once I'm back to my office, I remember what Tris said about being Dauntless. But deciding to speak about Four-even though it's hard for her-wasn't just a brave decision, it was selfless, smart and _completely_ divergent.

**Tris pov**

After Tori leaves, I follow her advice and go take a shower. I turn the water on as high as it will go. It feels so hot that it almost burns but I barely notice; I'm too focused on thinking of what I can say at the funeral. Even once I'm clean and dressed I still can't figure out what to say.

What are you supposed to say at the funeral of someone you loved so much? I loved him, I really did. And I never told him. I mean, I wrote it in a letter but, it's not the same thing. Deep down, I can only hope he knew how much I cared for him. With that in mind, I finally figure out exactly what I'm going to say at the funeral. _For Tobias._

******Page Break******

For about the fifth time since I got here, I wipe my sweaty palms on my pants. Tori is giving a general service for the others that have died. She looks like she's in a lot of pain just by standing there. She lets out a heavy sigh before turning and making a small motion to Harrison. He quickly drags over the stool that was between us, takes the microphone off the podium and hands it back to Tori. She gives a brief apology for the disruption before continuing with what se was saying before.

I feel sort of bad for not really paying attention but, I'm just too nervous. My old Abnegation self probably still doesn't feel comfortable with being the center of attention. Before I know it, though, Tori calls me up to speak.

Slowly, I make my way up to the podium. Putting my hands on either side of the stand, I look up at the crowd and start to speak...

"Most of us who had loved ones sent to Candor wrote letters back and fourth. Four and I were no different. I actually got his last letter the day of the announcement. And I thought the best way for me to honor Four is if I were to write him one last letter and read it to you all," I say before smoothing out the page and reading it.

"Dear Tobias,

When I first transferred to Dauntless, I thought that initiation would be one of the hardest things I would ever experience. But, really, losing you has been the hardest. It's left wounds that will never heal and time will never erase this pain. We were each other's strength. And now that you're gone I feel so lost," up until now I thought I would be fine but my voice catches and tears start to prick my eyes. "And alone. I've tried to tell myself that you're gone but it feels like your still with me sometimes. And then I remember that you really are gone and you're not coming back."

I take a few deep breaths before I continue.

"I remember when you first told me about your past. You revealed who you really were to me like you had never done before with anyone. You trusted me and believed we would be together and have a future together. But now we'll never have that chance. I wish and pray that I could have been strong enough to save us both. But I wasn't. And nobody can save us now that you're gone."

My voice is now much higher and tighter than before and I'm hoping I don't break down in front of everyone.

"I still remember when we first met; I literally fell into your life. And I remember when you kissed me for the first time, deep in the chasm. It seemed so peaceful in such a chaotic and dangerous place," I pause for a moment and drink in the memory. "Then the war started and we took on the world together. We were fine but that was why; we were together. And now I think back to how you said forever and always, and now you're gone."

"Even through everything we faced, I chose you. I still choose you because I love you," I can't help but look around for Uriah and give him a pointed look. "I really, truly and will always love you and I'm just sorry that I never actually said it. But even now, all these words mean nothing because they're too late and you're gone.

Love always,

Tris"

Looking back up from my page, I can see many in the audience crying or at least close to it. No one makes a sound, which is pretty impressive for a room full of Dauntless. I simply make my way back to my seat and wipe away the tears before they can fall. Harrison then comes up, finishes the service and dismisses everyone.

***Page Break***

Only once I'm back in the apartment, do I let myself cry. I kick off my shoes and just flop onto the bed. It's been like this ever since the announcement; _come home, cry myself to sleep, wake up, repeat._

Then it hits me.

_Why?_

_Why am I putting myself through all of this?_

In this war, were fighting for our lives. We're fighting to live happily again. But, Tobias is gone. _He's gone and he's not coming back_. How can I have a better life when he's not going to be a part of it. If a future without him is what I'm fighting for now; what's the point? I have nothing worth fighting for or living for now. A life without him is not worth living and if he dies, _I die to._

With this in mind, I leave the apartment. For the last time. Never again will I have to return to this place that contains so many memories with Tobias. Never again will I have to come back to the mocking words 'Fear God alone'. I have nothing more to be afraid of because I've already been living a nightmare. All my fears are about powerlessness and in this situation, that's exactly my position.

The cold stone hallways chill the bottoms of my feet but, in a weird way, I find it comforting. Strong emotions demands to be recognized and felt. Inside, all I feel is cold, empty and now I can feel it on the outside.

In no time, I'm at the chasm and small droplets of water spray my face. I make my way over to the railing and place my hands on the cold, slick metal. Thinking about what I'm going to do takes me back to that night in Candor.

Back then, I thought that life was bad. _I knew nothing_. This life that I'm living _now_ is bad. Not only have I lost both my parents but I've also lost Tobias. We both tried so hard to stay together and not lose each other but he was taken anyway.

With this thought plaguing my mind, I swing my legs over the rail. Now I'm standing right on the edge of the chasm, my arms hooked around the railing. It's at this last moment when I'm about to jump that's remember Al. I can finally understand him. When I was going to jump back in Candor I thought I understood. Understood the pain and just wanting it to end. But I didn't. Back then I couldn't truly grasp the true meaning of pain and sadness and loss and just the feeling of nothingness. _I do now. _

My mind turns back to Tobias. Finally, we can be together and finally this will all be over. I'm about to let go when I hear my name screamed from across the room.

"Beatrice!" My head whips around to see who screamed.

"Don't try and stop me Caleb," I choke out. "_He's gone_, I have nothing to live for now."

Caleb runs over as fast as he can and he grasps me under my arms before I can fall. He drags me back over the rail onto solid ground.

"How could you be so selfish?!" He screams.

Anger bubbles up inside of me. _Does he really think this is the best time to scold me?_

"I'm miserable. I don't want to have to fight anymore. And if in suck a despicably selfish person then you should just let me jump," I'm practically spitting venom at him.

I stand back up and reach for the railing but he grabs my arm and pulls me back down.

"Tobias wouldn't want you to do this you know. He would want you to be brave and suicide is definitely not brave," he says, pointing his finger in my face.

"Don't call him that! To you, he is Four and don't you dare lecture me on bravery when you are nothing but a coward! You left mom and dad for Erudite of all places and you knew that they would write articles about them."

"If _you_ really were brave, you would use your life to save others. You could have saved mom and dad. You could go to Erudite and stop this war. If you had gone in the first place then Tobias would be fine. But you were too much of a coward and stayed behind," he gives me a look of condescension and for a fleeting moment I can see a touch of, sadness?

Either way, his words hurt more than a slap in the face. But, he's right. If I had gone then Tobias would be okay right now. _It's all my fault_. I could have saved Tobias and so many more but didn't. I now have a chance to save more people and need to take it. For a moment, I simply sit and stare at him.

"I need to go," I say. Then I rise and start to run for the train tracks.

Half limping on account of my cut up and bleeding bare feet, I make my way to the front desk of Erudite. There are only a handful of people in the lobby, some guards being among them. No one notices me come in. The person at the desk doesn't even look up and me when I clear my throat to get their attention.

"Excuse me?" I say.

"Give me a moment," they say.

"No."

That gets their attention. Their eyes snap up I me and widen in surprise. The guards are then called over and they escort me to Jeanine Matthews herself.

**Jeanine pov (haven't heard from her in a while, have we)**

"She's here ma'am."

That is all I hear over the intercom from the front desk. Have I finally gotten what I have asked for? For Beatrice Prior to come here for testing on that fascinating little mind of hers.

"Who is here? Be more specific when addressing me, it is a more efficient use of time than having to give explanations," I tell them.

"Ms. Prior is here ma'am. Sorry for the inconvenience, ma'am," they reply.

"Thank you. Now page the captain of the guards and have him in my office in exactly ten minutes."

"Yes ma'am," they confirm.

Now that that is set into place, I reach into my upper desk drawer in search for the com that I have been using to communicate with young Mr. Prior. He answers after a short slot of time. His hair is disheveled and his eyes, red rimmed. Ignoring those facts for the moment, though, I begin to speak.

"I see that Beatrice has come, therefore you have kept your end of the deal. Please come as soon as possible and you may come and collect Naomi," I tell him.

Caleb seems as if he is about to say something but he sets his jaw and simply nods.

He says, "Thank you," almost in audibly.

The com then clicks off.

Leaning back in my desk chair, I think about this 'deal' that I have with Caleb Prior. It is at moments like these, that I'm thankful that I am not Candor.

**A/N: Sorry that I've been on hiatus for so long. We went on a road trip down to the states and I'm finally back. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and sorry for the slight cliffhanger. The next chapter is going to be quite intense but will take a while to write since I'm going to be back in school as of tomorrow. Please review, every time you guys give me feedback it makes writing more appealing because I know you guys enjoy it. **

**-cmatty**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20-Those eyes**

Tris pov

"Wait outside the door," are the first words Jeanine says as soon as I walk in.

The guards hesitate for a moment before giving a slight nod and leaving the room. A soon as the doors close behind them, a small part of me-the dauntless part of me-wants to hurl myself at Jeanine and attack. But the part of me that's too broken to even want to function makes me decide against it.

"Hello Beatrice. It's ever so nice for you to finally join us," she says, using a voice that even the Amity would find too kind and sweet and fake.

"Hello Jeanine," I say. Sounding defeated yet not giving her anything so she can pick apart my mind.

She frowns slightly, seeing that I didn't act out of anger or do something stupid. Reaching behind her, she presses a button and then two different guards enter the room. One of them is Peter. I want to say something or do something. Just so he can feel the pain he put me through and that I feel now. Before I can even think about it, though, words just spill out of me.

"And you thought you were Dauntless," is all I say before anger contorts his features and I receive a swift blow to the back of the head. And everything fades to black.

***Page Break***

**Tobias pov (oh it's so exciting!)**

I'm examining the new tattoos of flames that curl around my arms when I feel a tap on my shoulder. It's the captain of the guards.

"We have a new prisoner, I need you to go make up a bed in one of the empty cells," he says.

"Yes sir," I reply before heading towards the maze of hallways leading to the cells.

On my way there, I catch a glimpse of my reflection in a window. I look nothing like my old self. My dark hair has been dyed lighter, closer to Tris' color really and is shorter on the sides giving me a Mohawk. Piercings have been added, much to my dismay, to many parts of my face. Every time I look in the mirror, it reminds me of Eric and I want to throw up at just the thought of us having _anything_ in common. The people who transformed me even added tattoos to my arms. The flames on my arms work into the ones covering my back and-at my request-they even added a raven to my wrist that is coming out of the flames. And to top it all off, I wear square, thick rimmed glasses with barely anything substantial for lenses since my vision is practically perfect.

Then I leave my reflection behind and head for the cells. I'm here almost every day to make the beds and change the sheets since all the Erudite are too busy coming up with more ways to control us, and all the other Dauntless are either busy or don't know how to make a bed. After more than a decade of either making my bed in the morning, or getting punished later; yes, I'm capable of making a bed.

I've just finished the one in the cell of the new prisoner when the door swings open and in walks Peter carrying a small body. As soon as I seen that it's him that walks in, I turn away and can only see him out of the corner of my eye. Even with everything that Ben and James did to change how I look, I still avoid Peter-among others that I know-as much as possible to not be recognized.

"You done?" He asks, shifting around the person in his arms for a better grip. In my peripheral vision, all I can tell is that it's a small girl; her face is turned away for me and cuddled against Peter's chest. So, clearly, she's unconscious. She reminds me almost of Tris just in the small gimps of her that I got. But, that's crazy; she's safe and sound back in Dauntless. Right?

"Yeah," I answer him, still not making eye contact.

He lays the girl down and then I finally get a look at her. It takes all I have to not vocalize the shear heartbreak I feel. _I should have known she would come._ I wish she didn't but I almost knew that she would. That short golden hair, her soft features, those lips that I've kissed too few times.

It's Tris.

"You go ahead," I say, I'm surprised my voice is so steady. "I just remembered something I need to do in here."

Peter simply nods before heading back out the door. The moment he's gone, I make sure that the security cameras are off before dropping to my knees beside her. I take a moment to just look at her. It's seems like it's been forever since I last saw Tris and I've missed her so much.

Timidly, I reach out and brush away the strands of hair covering her face. I can now see the dark circles and puffiness of her eyes. She's hasn't been sleeping. And she's been crying. It hurts me to know that I've put her through so much pain. I then notice one of her hands is resting on the mattress beside her and all the marks on it. She not only has a few marks on her finger tips and hands but also many long jagged scars on her wrists and forearms. **(A/N: I wasn't sure if you guys understood that from previous chapters that Tris cut herself more than that one time. But she did.)**

I know what that means. I know that she felt so upset and depressed and that she cut herself. I know that it happened because I can see the scars but, I never thought it would happen. I didn't think that if I 'died' that she would be that overcome with grief. Her parents died in front of her for goodness sakes and she didn't go that far. _What else happened once I left?_

Then, she starts to stir and eventually her beautiful eyes, that I've missed looking into, open. And just like every other time, looking at her and seeing those eyes is just like waking up.

**Tris pov **

Once the utter blackness starts to fade, I can hear someone else's breathing in the room that is very close to me. Opening my eyes, I suddenly come face to face with someone very familiar yet very strange at the same time. They have lots of piercings and wear glasses but, there's something about those eyes. The glasses are throwing me off a bit but, I know those eyes. They're dark like a stormy sea and it's hard to not get lost in them.

_It can't be. _

_He's gone. _

_Dead. _

_Isn't he?_

We stare at each other for what seems like a long time before I break the tense silence.

"Tobias?"

**A/N Sorry that I haven't updated in forever. I've started school and taken up playing guitar and there's drama with my 'best friend' and some guy and my life sort of sucks right now. Also, I've just been really down and just not right. Anyway, I thought you guys deserved a chapter. For those of you who didn't see when I updated Zeke pov but, I took it down. Mutual friend is taking its place and I'll continue that once this one is over. Which will be fairly soon, I should add. I can't believe I'm already on the twentieth chapter. Please give me some feedback and tell be what you've thought of the story so far. I would love to hear from you guys and all of your reviews seriously make my day.**

**-cmatty (also, please check out my Wattpad. It's the same name so it's easy enough to find.) **


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